Tuesday, July 17, 2007 | Reason : Wingnut News | print version

Convict sues God for broken contract

by Wnd.com

Thanks to Mark Richards for the link.

Reposted from:
http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=56680

Claims deal made for divine protection from evil, 'instead he gave me to Satan' who caused murder

A man serving a 20-year sentence for murder has been rebuffed so far in his effort to sue God for breach of contract by failing to protect him from evil and turning him over to Satan who encouraged him to kill.

Pavel Mircea, 40, filed his lawsuit in the western Romanian town of Timisoara, charging God with failure to fulfill an agreement Micera alleged was made at his baptism.

"He was supposed to protect me from all evils and instead he gave me to Satan who encouraged me to kill," he charged.

In the lawsuit, Mircea listed "God, resident in heaven, represented in Romania by the Orthodox church" as the defendant, according to the Romanian daily Evenimentul Zilei.

God's alleged dereliction, according to Mircea including fraud, breach of trust, abuse of a position of authority and misappropriation of goods – all crimes, the plaintiff noted, under the Romanian criminal code.

Micera said that God had accepted his prayers and sacrificial offerings without providing any services in return.

Thus far, Micera is not getting an answer to his prayer to the court for relief, either.

The Timisoara public prosecutor rejected the case, saying God is not a person in the eyes of the law and does not have a legal address where he could be served with court papers.

Micera may get off lucky if his case ends there. As WND reported, Italian atheist Luigi Cascioli was ordered to pay a $1,900 judgment after a court ruled he had filed a fraudulent suit against an Italian priest for saying Jesus Christ existed.

Cascioli contended the cleric violated a law that forbids deceiving the public. The atheist said the priest, who had publicly criticized him for casting doubt on the truth of the gospels, had no evidence Jesus ever existed. Specifically, he claimed two Italian laws had been broken: the "abuse of popular belief'' – which amounts to intentionally deceiving someone – and "impersonation" – meaning one gains by giving a false name to someone.

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1. Comment #56830 by DarwinsPitbull on July 17, 2007 at 12:34 pm

What do they mean god has no address where they can serve him papers? Don't they know he lives in heaven? They'll just have to kill a good person, and have him tell god when he gets to heaven, that he's being sued. Simple.

Other Comments by DarwinsPitbull

2. Comment #56831 by Rtambree on July 17, 2007 at 12:36 pm

Don't you just love The Onion.

Other Comments by Rtambree

3. Comment #56867 by k1mgy on July 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm

Not the Onion at all.

Read all about it:

http://tinyurl.com/yqk5cq

Other Comments by k1mgy

4. Comment #56869 by thebigredmachine on July 17, 2007 at 3:20 pm

"The Timisoara public prosecutor rejected the case, saying God is not a person in the eyes of the law...."

Well that part is at least refreshing, we've established god is not a person in Romania. I have a feeling that somewhere a believer is shouting that god should be a person in the eyes of the law (or perhaps that the question is moot because god IS the law?) and is merely beyond our power to sue. I'm sure the folks at Regent Law School are having fun with this one.

Other Comments by thebigredmachine

5. Comment #56883 by Logicel on July 17, 2007 at 4:22 pm

Micera said that God had accepted his prayers and sacrificial offerings without providing any services in return.
______

Sacrificial offerings?

Other Comments by Logicel

6. Comment #56931 by BT Murtagh on July 17, 2007 at 9:45 pm

I thought God was supposed to be both omnipresent and omniscient?

If so, serving the papers is a snap; as soon as they are created (maybe even before) God is apprised of their contents, and they are already in His possession!

Other Comments by BT Murtagh

7. Comment #56962 by TinyRobot on July 18, 2007 at 1:06 am

Well at least they've rejected the idea of a personal god...it's a step in the right direction :-)

Other Comments by TinyRobot

8. Comment #56964 by TinyRobot on July 18, 2007 at 1:07 am

9. Comment #56966 by doodinthemood on July 18, 2007 at 1:38 am

I swear this was the plot of a movie I didn't see...

Other Comments by doodinthemood

10. Comment #56973 by sanjiv on July 18, 2007 at 2:38 am

Have they tried looking for God in the Vatican? Or how about the Holy Land? I've heard religious people say 'God lives in my heart'. That could be a good starting point to look for him.

But one things for sure - they won't find him in any atheist's heart.

Other Comments by sanjiv

11. Comment #56982 by LeeC on July 18, 2007 at 3:27 am

Excellent stuff.

I assume god would need to swear on a holy book in court, to ensure he tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but etc etc?

Which holy book will he choose?

Lee

Other Comments by LeeC

12. Comment #56984 by Philip1978 on July 18, 2007 at 3:52 am

Lee,
You never know, he might go for the affirmation! hehehehehe

Philip

Other Comments by Philip1978

13. Comment #57012 by GodlessHeathen on July 18, 2007 at 6:32 am

Suing god isn't the hard part. Getting the #&$@ to comply and pay up when he's lost, that's the hard part.

Other Comments by GodlessHeathen

14. Comment #57018 by HarryHUK on July 18, 2007 at 7:00 am

Perhaps other believers,worried that they may also be let down by god and consequently stray into the dark side,should take note,along with appropriate action
Perhaps an insurance policy of some sort might do the trick,I feel sure I have read about such an arrangement recently.

Somewhere in L A, I believe.

Other Comments by HarryHUK

15. Comment #57054 by la bella fortuna on July 18, 2007 at 8:09 am

Judge: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you...uh, You?

God: So help Me, me.

Other Comments by la bella fortuna

16. Comment #57129 by J.C. Samuelson on July 18, 2007 at 10:35 am

In related news, Lucifer issued a statement in which she denied any involvement with Mr. Mircea:

"Christ almighty!" said Lucifer. "God knows I'm not perfect, but c'mon! Why would I need this loser when I've got the leader of the free world in my hip pocket!?"

Asked if she would consider helping Mr. Mircea in his suit against God by handing over God's address (or at least His cell phone number), Lucifer replied that she wasn't interested due to a clause in her contract preventing such disclosures.

"Besides, I'm happy to keep the hellfires burning for God," she said. "I'd hate to get Him angry. You wouldn't like Him when He's angry."

Other Comments by J.C. Samuelson

17. Comment #57165 by happyatheist on July 18, 2007 at 12:43 pm

LOLOLOL! This is classic stuff. LOL! More people should join in with this lunatic and bring a Class Action suit against god. Forget OJ...This would be the new "trial of the century." You think god will defend/represent himself or have one of his co-pilots do it? Who's gonna televise this event? What would Jesus do? Can god pay up with 72 virgins if he loses? So many questions. LOL!

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18. Comment #57169 by bluebird on July 18, 2007 at 12:49 pm

Logicel #5, maybe this detail will come out in the book/TV movie of the week. Not sure I want to know THAT detail, tho.

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19. Comment #57174 by Logicel on July 18, 2007 at 1:08 pm

We can all file a complaint against religion via this site (I did about a month ago--I am asking 10,000 bucks in damages from my childhood Catholic parish church, which btw, I found was recently involved in the on-going child sexual abuse cases):

http://www.earthsgreatestlawsuit.org/

bluebird, I suppose sacrificial offerings could be food, flowers, and books (preferably The God Delusion)? Not all sacrifices need be bloody, I suppose, but still, reading the word, sacrificial, was a bit jarring.

Other Comments by Logicel

20. Comment #57192 by HarryHUK on July 18, 2007 at 2:06 pm

Logicel

"I suppose sacrficial offerings could be food,flowers,and books(preferably The God Delusion)?

Get real,it's got to be Harry Potter first,lets deal with the biggest threat to christianity before we get onto the bit players!

I was joking Mr Dawkins.

HarryH

Other Comments by HarryHUK

21. Comment #57227 by Shuggy on July 18, 2007 at 3:36 pm

How can they say God not a person when S/He/It/They 's/'ve done all those Acts of God?

And how can they say S/He/It/They is/are not a person when Enron (I think it was) is?

Other Comments by Shuggy

22. Comment #57233 by thebigredmachine on July 18, 2007 at 4:02 pm

Shuggy - for god to achieve similar Enron status, i.e., corporate personhood, he/she/it would presumably have to have shareholders, which would beg the question: Is there anyone out there dissatisfied with their salvation dividends who'd like to elect some new board members "upstairs"?

Other Comments by thebigredmachine

23. Comment #57290 by Damien White on July 18, 2007 at 7:12 pm

I think the movie to look for is "The Man Who Sued God", an Australian movie from several years ago, starring Billy Connolly as a fisherman whose boat gets destroyed in a storm, but the insurance company won't pay as it was an 'act of god'. Billy then sues god via his representatives on earth, the combined churches.

Other Comments by Damien White

24. Comment #57442 by wagnerpe on July 19, 2007 at 11:17 am

I'm going to bring a suit against the Flying Spaghetti monster for not bringing me enough beer and pirate wenches. Damn you FSM!! Where are your Noodly Appendages when I need them!?!?!

Other Comments by wagnerpe

25. Comment #58594 by Jeff Weskamp on July 25, 2007 at 10:12 am

"What do they mean god has no address where they can serve him papers? Don't they know he lives in heaven? They'll just have to kill a good person, and have him tell god when he gets to heaven, that he's being sued. Simple. "

In ancient Thrace, this method of communicating with the Divine was supposedly practiced! The Thracians worshipped a god named Zalmoxis, and every year they sacrificed a man after telling him all the prayers and requests of his community, so he could serve as a kind of mailman to the god.

Other Comments by Jeff Weskamp