1. Comment #73266 by rev on September 24, 2007 at 3:59 pm

o dear o dear o dear

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2. Comment #73267 by Clappers on September 24, 2007 at 3:59 pm

Note Jesus's right hand
I wonder what he could do with it?

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3. Comment #73272 by captainjoedatakickass on September 24, 2007 at 4:09 pm

Jesus toys allow young Atheists to create situations like this:

www.theradguy.blogspot.com/2007/09/what-would-jesus-read_13.html

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4. Comment #73273 by bluebird on September 24, 2007 at 4:12 pm

Yep, heard about these a while back...
http://www.trainupachild.com

Lots of pliable tots are gonna find these under the Tannenbaum this year :(

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5. Comment #73274 by Methodissed on September 24, 2007 at 4:14 pm

It looks like he's ready to grab a sword to give us a good whoopin' - Matt 10:34

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6. Comment #73275 by 10 on September 24, 2007 at 4:15 pm

Fine but the Humanists call dibs on Legos

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7. Comment #73276 by Richard Morgan on September 24, 2007 at 4:15 pm

I'm looking forward to seeing their Adam and Eve.
Especially Eve.



EDIT : Aw, shucks, I just did. But I meant before the Fall. After is just too plain-long boring!




EDIT 2 : But only to see if they had belly buttons - you bunch of faithless perverts!!!!

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8. Comment #73278 by Eamonn Shute on September 24, 2007 at 4:18 pm

If you prefer something more tasteful how about a Mother Teresa Singing Doll?

http://ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/Musical/071.html

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9. Comment #73280 by Shifty Frog on September 24, 2007 at 4:21 pm

Equal opportunity idiocy - hindu deity finger puppets: http://www.mcphee.com/items/10578.html
Gotta wonder though - when talking Jeebus's batteries die, does he rise again from the toy box 3 days later?

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10. Comment #73281 by jdb on September 24, 2007 at 4:25 pm

How about atheist action figures? In fact, we could just sell empty boxes. We'd make a killing!

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11. Comment #73283 by _J_ on September 24, 2007 at 4:25 pm

Wasn't there an article on these things here a while ago? Or did someone just provide a link to somewhere that mentioned them?

Anyway, I still think they're a project doomed to backfire. Kids can spot patterns. What do Transformers, He-Man, Spiderman and Batman, Bratz (or whatever they have these days instead of My Little Pony), My Little Pony for that matter, and all the rest of the myriad plastic friends children can petition their parents for have in common?

They ain't real.

I also think it's a step in the right direction to have a Saviour that you can actually make do what you want, for a change. Though, once again, I suspect that giving kids the authority to bend The Messiah to their own sadistic juvenile will won't entirely play into the church's hands.

By the way, Clappers - I can only assume you mean that Jesus is poised to bid someone 'Rise'.

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12. Comment #73284 by _J_ on September 24, 2007 at 4:27 pm

Shifty Frog

Gotta wonder though - when talking Jeebus's batteries die, does he rise again from the toy box 3 days later?

Better value to get the Duracell Easter Bunny.

Other Comments by _J_

13. Comment #73286 by BillySands on September 24, 2007 at 4:29 pm

You could pull the arms and legs off your sister's dolls and pretend they are lepers. Then Jesus could heal them.
How about bringing out genocidal joshua and murderous moses with real gravel throwing arm. Tey could have Dalek voices and say "exterminate non jews Ex-ter-min-ate!"

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14. Comment #73287 by Koreman on September 24, 2007 at 4:30 pm

Why is Jesus held like that and not Mohamed in the background? He looks so depressed and insultanned.

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15. Comment #73290 by drichlin on September 24, 2007 at 4:33 pm

I predict the Samson doll will be their best seller. He looks mighty bad!

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16. Comment #73291 by Shifty Frog on September 24, 2007 at 4:34 pm

I was also wondering - do they have a Catholic Jeebus doll too? You know, pull the string and watch him transform into a cookie!

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17. Comment #73292 by notsobad on September 24, 2007 at 4:34 pm

Chri$tianity

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18. Comment #73299 by BillySands on September 24, 2007 at 4:44 pm

Now you can have a jesus vs Barbie death match.

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19. Comment #73301 by Cartomancer on September 24, 2007 at 4:48 pm

Dear Santa (or Dan Dennett as you go by these days),

I have been a good little atheist all year and so for the midwinter festival of ritualised gift exchange I would like:

Richard Dawkins bobblehead and bicycle clips,
Christopher Hitchens doll with real smoking action, authentic US passport and plastic wall of separation accessories,
Sam Harris Lunchbox,
Plush AC Grayling toy,
New Adventures of Bertrand Russell Annual 2007,
God Delusion Fridge Magnets
Membership of PZ Myers Children's fan club

Thank you very much,

Cartomancer

Other Comments by Cartomancer

20. Comment #73311 by alovrin on September 24, 2007 at 5:04 pm

Look at those pecs!
And that square jaw?

Hey did these guys have some leftover World of Warcraft dolls?
Is this some cynical marketing ploy to move old stock?

I didnt like the look of that "spokesperson"

Other Comments by alovrin

21. Comment #73312 by Devolution on September 24, 2007 at 5:05 pm

I'm sure most of you have already seen these little gems for the sports minded christian.

http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues.html

Other Comments by Devolution

22. Comment #73316 by k1mgy on September 24, 2007 at 5:30 pm

I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar

Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
Trouble coming He don't see
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And policemen think I'm tight
They never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

George Cromarty and Ed Rush

Other Comments by k1mgy

23. Comment #73322 by bluebird on September 24, 2007 at 5:50 pm

Also...the U.S. housing market 'slump' has Catholics beseeching St. Joseph:
http://www.catholicsupply.com/christmas/stjoe.html

Supposedly there's a Stephen Hawking action figure; $7, same price as the St.J statue.



Other Comments by bluebird

24. Comment #73327 by HappyPrimate on September 24, 2007 at 6:41 pm

I sort of like this idea of bible characters as toys. I think this will backfire on the parents that buy them. It puts the notion in their dear little ones heads that these characters are play things and as we all know, when you grow older, you tend to put the toys away. Maybe the next generation will be able to put away religion itself easier and with less stress if it was all just something to play with as a child.

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25. Comment #73330 by Bonzai on September 24, 2007 at 6:48 pm

Speaking of toys with a religious theme there is a video game called "God of War" based loosely on Greek mythology. In it the hero somehow acquired magical power and killed the war god Ares. He then beat the living crap out of Zeus.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faSlJJpggRM&mode=related&search=

I can't wait for a Biblical version of the game where some hero rises to challenge the nasty cosmic dictator Yahweh and beats him into a bloody pulp. In it Jesus would either get killed or defect. I won't be holding my breath though.

Other Comments by Bonzai

26. Comment #73333 by Aidan86 on September 24, 2007 at 7:00 pm

...So when will they be releasing the Muhammad doll?

Other Comments by Aidan86

27. Comment #73335 by Frankus1122 on September 24, 2007 at 7:06 pm

For a whole slew of Jesuses (Jesii ?) - almost infinite - you must visit:
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/190/index.html

Other Comments by Frankus1122

28. Comment #73341 by Russell Blackford on September 24, 2007 at 7:34 pm

Oh dear.

Actually, Cartomancer, I have an action figure of Einstein sitting on top of my computer to inspire me - given to me by one of my dearest friends.

There's also a silver Gandalf-like figure from another treasured friend. I think that Jesus would make it the wrong sort of trinity.

Other Comments by Russell Blackford

29. Comment #73342 by konquererz on September 24, 2007 at 7:35 pm

Oh come on, this is classic! I want to catch them all!

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30. Comment #73345 by Crazymalc on September 24, 2007 at 7:47 pm

Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much
Is really sacred.

Bob Dylan - It's all right Ma, I'm only bleedin'

Other Comments by Crazymalc

31. Comment #73348 by commonhumanity on September 24, 2007 at 8:09 pm

I wrote this poem about an earlier (and less costly) doll, created by someone in Boca Raton, Florida. The patterns were cut out in New York, and the rag dolls stuffed in California. Evidently it didn't go over too well, as I never heard any more about it even though they planned to release a "God doll" the next year.

GOD WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE

New York? They've cut him out there.
In California he's filled with lightweight
fluff. When he's all sewed up,
you paint on him any face you like.
So many people unaware

that he exists--for only $12.95!
God will not be available until next year,
but Jesus can be yours now by calling
1-800-227-8702. He's beautiful,
twelve inches tall, with crystal blue eyes.

For children, the elderly, the infirm.
Hard to hug air, said his creator
of Boca Raton. Now you can't deny
he's real. You'll go, "Oh, look, there's Jesus!"
when you see him across the room.

Other Comments by commonhumanity

32. Comment #73349 by troodon on September 24, 2007 at 8:12 pm

Wal-Mart has just lost me as a customer.

Other Comments by troodon

33. Comment #73354 by Goldy on September 24, 2007 at 8:23 pm

Heheheheheh - Jesus action figure, made in China by, most probably, an athiest. Love it!

Other Comments by Goldy

34. Comment #73357 by Sittingduck on September 24, 2007 at 9:05 pm

Oh man - I hope they don't come with all the accessories. On Christmas morning, I can see all the youngsters sitting amoung their opened presents, and nailing their little saviors to their crosses with minature hammers. Oh the memories...

Other Comments by Sittingduck

35. Comment #73359 by JSW on September 24, 2007 at 9:20 pm

This is nothing new. Why, for years I've treasured my figure of the one who descended from the heavens to live among us, who died but then rose again in all his glory to save us all. And with mine, if you move his arms, legs and head around just so, he transforms into a truck!

'Til all are one!

Other Comments by JSW

36. Comment #73369 by Roy_H on September 24, 2007 at 10:06 pm

Any kid that was given one of those things here in the UK would probably use it for air rifle target practice.

Other Comments by Roy_H

37. Comment #73381 by Theocrapcy on September 24, 2007 at 10:47 pm

Jesus wins every time:

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Jesus&word2=Barbie

Other Comments by Theocrapcy

38. Comment #73407 by Shuggy on September 25, 2007 at 1:20 am

HappyPrimate:

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

Cor 13 11

Other Comments by Shuggy

39. Comment #73410 by irate_atheist on September 25, 2007 at 1:26 am

If it could walk on water, perhaps I'd consider buying one.

I suspect, however, that it would sink without a trace.

Other Comments by irate_atheist

40. Comment #73412 by scooternyc on September 25, 2007 at 1:28 am

It's 4am here in the U.S. and I'm already laughing so hard at these websites everyone is posting - I LOVE IT!

How about creating little priest dolls that are chasing little boy dolls while the boy dolls are screaming "no moleste, no moleste".

"...So when will they be releasing the Muhammad doll?"

I thought the dark skinned jesus doll just "doubled" as mo?

Other Comments by scooternyc

41. Comment #73420 by scottishgeologist on September 25, 2007 at 1:50 am

Talking of dolls, seen these ones? (an old news item but quite funny)

"Muslim dolls tackle 'wanton' Barbie"

Story at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1856558.stm

Other Comments by scottishgeologist

42. Comment #73425 by Northern Bright on September 25, 2007 at 1:56 am

Isn't this iDOLLatry?
(Sorry!)

Actually, I think I might buy one of these. Imagine how cool it would be to have your very own water-into-wine converter.

Other Comments by Northern Bright

43. Comment #73429 by IceFreak2000 on September 25, 2007 at 2:06 am

@commonhumanity

Love the poem - brilliant stuff.

Other Comments by IceFreak2000

44. Comment #73436 by aw6334 on September 25, 2007 at 2:18 am

These are so funny!
I have listed most of the items named above on my Thank God I'm An Atheist blogspot - if you find any more wonderful items, please let me know, and I will add them. (http://www.tgiaa.blogspot.com)

My favourite find so far is the Jesus pan - you can make your own tortillas and pancakes embossed with Jesus - think of how much could you make selling those pancakes on ebay!
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/425/index.html

Other Comments by aw6334

45. Comment #73455 by couldbethelasttime on September 25, 2007 at 2:45 am

Q. Why did the Mary doll have a virgin birth?

A. Because the Joseph doll comes in a different box.

Other Comments by couldbethelasttime

46. Comment #73460 by dancingthemantaray on September 25, 2007 at 3:05 am

It's a very Caucasian Jesus (and other models too)....

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47. Comment #73461 by Ian on September 25, 2007 at 3:10 am

My sympathy goes out to the kid who gets caught using his Jesus doll to re-enact the crucifixion.

You know it will happen.

Other Comments by Ian

48. Comment #73462 by Nighttripper on September 25, 2007 at 3:11 am

Hah, that reminds me of the first time I saw this kinda thing at www.jesuschristsuperstore.net. I'm afraid the original site is gone now, but thanks to the Internet Archive it's still viewable:

http://web.archive.org/web/20010330082638/http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net/index.html

All the mainstream religions prophets, the pope, the ayatollah, even God Almighty and Allah.

Jesuschristsuperstore: putting the "Fun" back in Fundamentalism, and the "Laughter" back in sectarian Slaughter.
Priceless...

Other Comments by Nighttripper

49. Comment #73471 by John Turner on September 25, 2007 at 3:58 am

Heres an alternative jesus doll :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haitxwIYj3Y&mode=related&search=

Other Comments by John Turner

50. Comment #73472 by aw6334 on September 25, 2007 at 4:03 am

There's always this for your bathtub.....

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Religion-JESUS-Lamb-Rubber-Duck-Celebriduck-Bath_W0QQitemZ220151126149QQihZ012QQcategoryZ90663QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Other Comments by aw6334