1. Comment #109121 by GodlessHeathen on January 8, 2008 at 11:49 am

"Non-fiction version" This guy is supremely funny =^_^=

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2. Comment #109122 by dvespertilio on January 8, 2008 at 11:49 am

The inimitable Pat Condell, as always!

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3. Comment #109126 by gcdavis on January 8, 2008 at 11:58 am

God Bless you Pat

I always look forward to the next Pat Condell vid and this one is a stonker!

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4. Comment #109128 by leodavinci on January 8, 2008 at 12:04 pm

Youtube are fiddling with his view count, they've done it before. At the moment of writing this comment he has 904 ratings and 202 views, i smell something fishy at Youtube HQ.

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5. Comment #109129 by irate_atheist on January 8, 2008 at 12:09 pm

"A primitive death cult masquerading as a religion".


What a classic.

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6. Comment #109132 by phatbat on January 8, 2008 at 12:14 pm

Brilliant as always.

Check out these clips from the 90's on BBC - it's Richard Herring and Stuart Lee (of jerry springer the opera fame) hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70IAwHTzrHI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBzavvUIAR4

if you type in sunday heroes into utube u get loads of them.

cheers folks

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7. Comment #109135 by eirik on January 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm

"this is a dream you prick!" hilarious!!

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8. Comment #109143 by Gymnopedie on January 8, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Laugh out loud funny! Great stuff. But, sadly, his bit about Christians looking forward to the rapture is quite true, and thus, very scary.

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9. Comment #109144 by bluebird on January 8, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Pat Condell, where have you been all my life?!!?


A delicious nugget of satire that brightened my afternoon... thanks for posting this!

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10. Comment #109147 by will young on January 8, 2008 at 12:40 pm

Heed not, he is following a false nonexistent god! The one true nonentity revealed its divine absence unto me in pure gibberish scrawled in a loose leaf tablet I found buried under some dirty laundry!

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11. Comment #109150 by Big City on January 8, 2008 at 12:44 pm

"...but it would be, if it were,"
This is great. The ending is hilarious and makes some really good points.

There's recently been an uproar here in Atlanta about the 'megachurches' and the extravagant homes their preachers own. The news interviews with the congregations make them seem like they don't have a problem with it.
If you guys haven't seen Pat Robertson's television show, you really should. Sow a seed of faith!

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12. Comment #109151 by UncleJJ on January 8, 2008 at 12:48 pm

Classic Pat Condell :)

I like the bit where he exposes Pat Robertson's false prediction of a serious terrorist attack in late 2007. God talks to Pat Robertson and either God can't predict the future or tells him lies.

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13. Comment #109152 by AshtonBlack on January 8, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Nice work, sir!

Very funny...... I did actually spit a bit of tea out of my nose when he said "This is a dream, you prick!!"

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14. Comment #109156 by Stephen Maxwell on January 8, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Pat Condell is brilliant.

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15. Comment #109169 by Mr DArcy on January 8, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Great stuff!

Pat Condell has hit the nail on the head when he equates Roberston's spirituality with $$$$$$$$!

The celebrity preacher who saves your soul for a few dollars more! Is Robertson more expensive than his rival saviours? Quality doesn't come cheap.

What a gem.

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16. Comment #109209 by Stormkahn on January 8, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Awesome, concise and biting in its satire.

My hat's off to you Mr Condell!

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17. Comment #109211 by Canuck#1 on January 8, 2008 at 3:16 pm

My absolute favourite....another gem to go along with his previous body of "work"...well done Pat...

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18. Comment #109219 by steveroot on January 8, 2008 at 3:32 pm

"...the sucker still thinks he's going to take the big prize..."

This guy brings tears to my eyes. He does not waste a single word. Priceless.
Steve

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19. Comment #109224 by Steve Zara on January 8, 2008 at 3:44 pm

I deleted a slightly sour post that I made earlier. I find Pat Condell a guilty pleasure - a pleasure because he is funny, but guilt because he seems not to approve of soppy atheists like me with my "excuse me, but I happen to think you may be wrong - would like a chat about this?" approach.

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20. Comment #109228 by meraj on January 8, 2008 at 3:50 pm

I love this guy.

Pat Condell should get his own TV show! :-D

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21. Comment #109250 by Kakashi_monkey on January 8, 2008 at 4:42 pm

This video is funny, lol. Combining humor with a short speech like this is sure a good way to make a few short points. Definitely something to watch if you dislike listening to boring speeches. You can say, "Ha ha ha! That's a good point you've got there!"

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22. Comment #109264 by tacitus on January 8, 2008 at 5:09 pm

At the end of the video Condell says that Christians "can't wait to die". While I understand his point, when you look a little more closely, it doesn't really seem to be true. Christians will endure agonizing illness and even more painful treatments in an effort to remain alive. If they were all so eager to get into Heaven, why are we wasting precious health care resources on them so they can delay the inevitable?

Of course the answer is, when push comes to shove, most Christians are as reluctant to die as the rest of us. Promises of Heaven only work when their fate is inevitable. Anything short of that and they hold on to life as tenaciously as the staunchest non-believer.

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23. Comment #109271 by Jack Rawlinson on January 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Okay, when he said "This is a dream, you prick", I actually splurted some of my drink over the keyboard.

Love this guy. Brilliant.

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24. Comment #109272 by Jack Rawlinson on January 8, 2008 at 5:31 pm

AshtonBlack - ha! I just saw that you did it too!

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25. Comment #109274 by Matt7895 on January 8, 2008 at 5:34 pm

Oh wow! This video really is brilliant. The best one Pat's come up with. Concise and funny, very effective I would think.

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26. Comment #109281 by Storeo on January 8, 2008 at 5:59 pm

At the end of the video Condell says that Christians "can't wait to die". While I understand his point, when you look a little more closely, it doesn't really seem to be true. Christians will endure agonizing illness and even more painful treatments in an effort to remain alive. If they were all so eager to get into Heaven, why are we wasting precious health care resources on them so they can delay the inevitable?

Of course the answer is, when push comes to shove, most Christians are as reluctant to die as the rest of us. Promises of Heaven only work when their fate is inevitable. Anything short of that and they hold on to life as tenaciously as the staunchest non-believer.

I agree. I also use a similar line of argument which proceeds as follows. If all my Christian friends really truly believe the doctrine they claim to adhere to, it follows that they believe that after death i will be subject to eternal hellfire, punishment, torture et cetera for all eternity. Why is it the case then that none of my 'christian' friends have ever tried to convert me. I can only deduce two possible reasons. Either they are remarkebly callous and arn't really my friends, or when push comes to shove they dont actually believe the things they claim to.

A retort may be that, well, of course its not knowledge perce, and as believers they may have uncertainties. Which is fair enough. However even if i was 50% sure that some of my closest friends would have to endure unending agony after death I would do nothing less than make every conceivable effort in attempting to convert them to adhere to what i envisage as the 'true life.' Hell, even if i was only 20% sure, i wouldnt like to gamble with my friends destiny in such a wreckless manner.

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27. Comment #109306 by Inferno on January 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

If i was god i'd be telling pat robertson lies too!

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28. Comment #109317 by Storeo on January 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Maybe god has a sense of humour and just wants to make Pat look stupid.

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29. Comment #109355 by LorienRyan on January 8, 2008 at 10:42 pm

"...and yes, you guessed it, God talks back to him."

very funny

nice one Pat

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30. Comment #109360 by LorienRyan on January 8, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Steve Zara

I think Sam Harris is a 'soppy atheist' also.

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31. Comment #109365 by Atheist_from_Hell on January 8, 2008 at 10:59 pm

RE: Comment 22 (#109264) by tacitus

Of course the answer is, when push comes to shove, most Christians are as reluctant to die as the rest of us. Promises of Heaven only work when their fate is inevitable. Anything short of that and they hold on to life as tenaciously as the staunchest non-believer.

Damn right.

And that includes the previous Pope (who presumably thought that he would go straight to heaven when he died) as much as any of them.

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32. Comment #109371 by briancoughlanworldcitizen on January 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Guys, we Dawkins raiders have been "called out" by the atheists sucks brigade:-)

Give 'em erm .... hell ?

http://atheismsucks.blogspot.com/

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33. Comment #109390 by the_ultimate_samurai on January 9, 2008 at 1:24 am

At the end of the video Condell says that Christians "can't wait to die". While I understand his point, when you look a little more closely, it doesn't really seem to be true. Christians will endure agonizing illness and even more painful treatments in an effort to remain alive. If they were all so eager to get into Heaven, why are we wasting precious health care resources on them so they can delay the inevitable?

Of course the answer is, when push comes to shove, most Christians are as reluctant to die as the rest of us. Promises of Heaven only work when their fate is inevitable. Anything short of that and they hold on to life as tenaciously as the staunchest non-believer.

well, the bible is strict in the sense they cannot kill themselves, a martyr must be killed by someone else, or die of natural causes. commiting an act knowing you will die from it is considered suicide. (however only having the slight notion that you may die from it is another story, so charging a batallion believing god will protect you, isnt suicide. strapping a bomb to your chest and blowing it up...is)(though of couse there is an odd loophole (isnt there always?) where you may sacrifice yourself to save someone else. then its considered noble, and even knowing you will die if you do not renounce god, you still may not, that is martyrdom)

also under no circumstances may a christian renounce christ, even to save his own life. so if tortured to renounce christ they may not.

so in that respect at least christianity was better concieved than islam.
of course human nature and the bible are so often at ends with one another, so of course every human on earth fears death, mournes the dead, and no religion can wipe away the pain a parent feels at the loss of a child.
however it does a good job of convincing them that the pain doesnt exist, what psychologists would call repression. in fact religion is realy just a means of repression, no thereputic value at all, in fact it is psychologically damaging.

and the video makes me laugh, i litteraly slapped my knee at the "this is a dream prick" bit. the whole video was great, i like this guys work.

also about the views to rating inconsitancy, i dont know much about youtube so i dont know if people viewing the embeded up there count as a view, but then again the option doesnt exist to rate it from here so...i dont know. maybe youtube is just gay like that.

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34. Comment #109393 by LorienRyan on January 9, 2008 at 1:41 am

True Story - I was at uni using the computer facilities with one of my classmates. During lunch he stayed and I went to the local cafe, where to my amusement some guy was preaching to his workmates at the table next to me. I had a little chuckle to myself and went back to the uni. With some animation and glee I shared the story with my classmate, to which he responded with a completely straight face, 'I'm a christian.' 'Oh', I said and turned back to my computer screen.

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35. Comment #109427 by Logicel on January 9, 2008 at 3:37 am

Pat, you have convinced me of the special revelatory power of that dream of yours! How dismayed I was not to see an email contact where I can send you money. I am praying now that God with speak to you about this little detail you left out, and you will then fulfill his will, allowing me to forgo a few earthly pleasures that money would have bought so I can wait instead for the real pleasures after my death.

One of Pat's best vids. Parting the water in the bathtub for practice is my fave bit!!!

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36. Comment #109435 by Rob Carter on January 9, 2008 at 4:05 am

These links up at the top seem to be broken:


Pat Robertson calls for an assassination
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WlSYo...

God falsely predicts a massive terrorist attack on the US for 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0hWAx...

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37. Comment #109465 by coretemprising on January 9, 2008 at 5:25 am

Steve Z:

I deleted a slightly sour post that I made earlier. I find Pat Condell a guilty pleasure - a pleasure because he is funny, but guilt because he seems not to approve of soppy atheists like me with my "excuse me, but I happen to think you may be wrong - would like a chat about this?"

Soppy! Uh huh. Made my day.

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38. Comment #109466 by flyingscot on January 9, 2008 at 5:30 am

Oh I enjoyed that, thank you Pat!

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39. Comment #109467 by coretemprising on January 9, 2008 at 5:30 am

brian:

Guys, we Dawkins raiders have been "called out" by the atheists sucks brigade:-)

Give 'em erm .... hell ?

http://atheismsucks.blogspot.com/

NO! NO! NO! Don't be made the fool! This activity is a COMPLETE waste of time, in my new-found opinion. Get a life.

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40. Comment #109470 by irate_atheist on January 9, 2008 at 5:34 am

39. Comment #109467 by coretemprising -

Splitter!

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41. Comment #109471 by coretemprising on January 9, 2008 at 5:34 am

My besotted mother died last month. Thank god, now that I've got her money, no more $50 a month going to the Christian Broadcasting Network. Ack.

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42. Comment #109485 by Sleep of Reason on January 9, 2008 at 6:00 am

In the US there are, I believe, 300 million residents and approximately 20%, or 60 million do not have health insurance. This is the equivalent on the entire population of Great Britain (Not the UK).

If the US Government had the balls to tax ALL religious income, and ringfence it, they would be able to provide at least basic health care for all the residents of the US.

I'm sure that God would be pleased.

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43. Comment #109489 by Ty_Webb on January 9, 2008 at 6:09 am

The "this is a dream you prick" bit had me laughing already and then he unloaded with the "this is the non-fiction version". Tears were present. One of the funniest things I saw all day. I say one of because I was watching family guy, which is pretty much the pinnacle of comedy television.

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44. Comment #109499 by Incredulous on January 9, 2008 at 6:15 am

I listened to the beginning of this brilliant rant and it reminded me of this, taken from the metro this morning:

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=82911&in_page_id=34

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45. Comment #109563 by somersetsimon on January 9, 2008 at 7:23 am

Maybe god has a sense of humour and just wants to make Pat look stupid.

Not all the Christians are supporters of Pat Robertson

Here's a short song by Martyn Joseph.

http://www.piperecords.co.uk/audio/MJGB06/11%20Mr%20Robertson.mp3

Martyn is a fantastic Welsh singer/songwriter. He rails against the hypocrisy and downright corruption of big-time religion, especially the televangelists. I agree with virtually all his views on the world - politics, fairness, compassion. He is a great guy and he even donated a specially recorded song to our village pre-charity that I help out with. An all round great guy.

As well as all that, he is a devout Christian. I think he's really an atheist, but doesn't realise it yet. He would probably say the reverse about me! He seems to stand for all the things that Christianity supposed to stand for. If they were all like this, I wouldn't be so worried about religion.

His best Christian "anti-religion" song is 'He Never Said', co-written by another big hero of mine, Tom Robinson. I couldn't find a free to air clip of that :-/

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46. Comment #109632 by JIMMYM on January 9, 2008 at 10:16 am

Pat Condell: Superstar/Hero/Champion of common sense. Take your pick!

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47. Comment #109643 by Colwyn Abernathy on January 9, 2008 at 11:15 am

Pat...you da man! Keep pointing out how ridiculous religious claims are as well as making us laugh. Much love and more power to ye!

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48. Comment #109648 by Nails on January 9, 2008 at 11:55 am

Awesome.
The best yet, surely.
I finished with tears in my eyes.
4:10

I would also like to preach this message high and lo, throughout the land, to everyone who wants to hear it (and to everyone who doesn't). And I would like to continue preaching it at them over and over again whether they like it or not.
I'd like to raise large amounts of revenue on the back of this activity on which I would like to pay no tax.
I'd like to see my views forced into the educational curriculum, disproportionately represented in the law of the land, and displayed prominently outside every courthouse, if that's not too much trouble.

Love it.

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49. Comment #109805 by JamieR on January 9, 2008 at 6:52 pm

I think he should be famous hes so funny

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50. Comment #109806 by JamieR on January 9, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Don't ya think its evil to tell peaple they is gonna be a atrocity and it could be a nuclear tourist attack the person who sead that should be ashamed of him self as he claimed god told him religious loons would believe him and get scared

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