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My journey of becoming an atheist

Created on Sep 21 2013
Dear Mr. Dawkins,
I would like to share with you my journey, from a closet skeptic to a proud atheist..
"The Boring God", when I was a kid I was scared of my disinterest in religion, specially those long prayer ceremonies that my family used to go to. Maybe scared is not the right would, I was rather ashamed of my lack of interest in religious activities. Though my parents never forced religion down my throat, I still thought that it was blasphemous, that I found god boring. But I was still a believer.
"Unfair God", then came a time when I denounced myself as an atheist because I was mad at god for being unfair. Though getting mad at someone would still mean acknowledging his(or her for that matter) presence, but still it was a big move... Because this was the first time I brought him into the realm of debate and skepticism in my mind. So I became an atheist because this god person was supposed to be fair and since he was not, so clearly there is no god, I concluded. Moreover growing up in a country like India, where you daily come across people who live in such pitiful condition that you have be utterly short sighted to believe in a “fair” and “compassionate” God.
“The Incompetent, mute spectator God”, by this time I had seriously started doubting the capabilities of god. For me, god was still a caretaker of this world. But I was much lenient this time. No need to be fair to all. No punishment for petty crimes. I was not looking for a “fair” god this time just an “omniscient” one would do. Even when I kept the moral issues aside, there were major technical glitches in believing in an omniscient god. How could he possibly look into everything at the same time?!!?? Like you exclaimed in The God Delusion “Such bandwidth!!!!” Though back then I hadn't notice that by relieving god from all the moral responsibilities, I had almost reduced him to a mute spectator. He was almost redundant. Another quick information, by now, though I was not a closet atheist but still I was that “respecting others beliefs” kind of atheist.
“The Scientifically Impossible God”, and after reading the book, “The God Delusion”, I am a fully evolved, proud atheist. Now I m not an atheist because god is not doing what is supposedly his responsibilities but because I believe it is scientifically impossible for a creator and care taker of this world.
AK