For 15 years Meier tried operating in a church that condemns being gay as “intrinsically disordered,” until he took a leave of absence last June.

According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Meier has only watched the Church’s anti-gay stance harden over time.

“I have tried over the years to reconcile my silence as a gay priest with that of the Church’s increasingly anti-gay stance. I have been unsuccessful,” Meier wrote in his book. “I was hopeful that I could find a way to have integrity while remaining part of a hierarchy that is anti-gay — I was unsuccessful.”