1. God and Science Collide in Nation's Capital

Comment #182274 by Oppomystic on May 19, 2008 at 2:57 pm

The Magisteria Cannot Overlap!

How God kills scientific progress:

When Newton hit a roadblock he was quicker to say it was God's domain than to think he wasn't smart enough - like a branch on the Tree of Knowledge that God wouldn't let him climb. Just think of what Newton could have accomplished knowing that no branches were off-limits. Nothing would have stopped him.

And...

Scientists that go to church are no different from the scientists that go to the cinema. They all check their brains at the door if they want to enjoy themselves. Watching "Jurassic Park" in the lab isn't going to help you any more than any Biblical verse. Keep both of them outside. Don't cross the streams, Egon.

2. Americans pray at the pump for cheaper petrol

Comment #179722 by Oppomystic on May 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Sorry to break in with a comment on topic, but...

Prayer may not work, but radio transmissions from your cellphone sure do a good job disrupting the digital readouts at the pump. Does not work on the old ones.

Oh, did you think that NO CELLPHONES meant that they were worried about sparks from your phone? No, silly, try making a call and holding your cellphone against a pump and watch the little numbers go crazy! That is, before the owner comes running out to stop you. The gamble is you don't know what the numbers will end on, but if it's too much then you just complain that something is wrong with the pump.

Pssst, don't tell the fundies. Let them pray, we'll rely on science...

3. Richard Dawkins discusses Einstein's new letters

Comment #179715 by Oppomystic on May 13, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Nail plus Coffin = Closed

Not that this will stop the quote-miners. They'll always have their wedges...

4. The Neural Buddhists

Comment #179643 by Oppomystic on May 13, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Most genes are merely apathetic...most people, merely pathetic.

5. My Response to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Comment #177147 by Oppomystic on May 8, 2008 at 4:48 pm

The only time Dr. Dawkins yells is when his microphone is too loud...

Religious people need an intervention, and the only way to keep them in the room and agree to seek treatment is to speak calmly. If you yell, they leave. Unless you're yelling that you have the "stuff" they need for a fix, which is what Dinesh and Shmuley are peddling.

*edit* I watched the videos of Shmuley's speech and low and behold, he does shriek. He talks low, then raises his voice, then talks low, then shrieks. Just like the ole square-moustachio'd one himself. Oh, and he's ignorant about evolution and science in general, especially about monogamous geese in the natural world.

6. Gene map proves platypus is part bird, mammal and reptile

Comment #177133 by Oppomystic on May 8, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Unfortunately, religious people tend to glaze over when they hear science-related news. Any Christian reading this article would see:

"Scientists said... "

And then they would mutter, "That snake next to the tree is talking again. Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen. Move on to the sports page, you're safe there."

The hold is strong with them. Sometimes the pity is thick enough to bend a knife. [sigh]

7. The detail in the Devil

Comment #176533 by Oppomystic on May 7, 2008 at 2:48 pm

Put on your fundie hats and play along...

How does he, or any religious person, know for a fact that Satan himself didn't write the Bible?

We all know how easy it is to incite violence with verses from the Bible. The fact that there have been more people killed with religion than saved is all the evidence I would need. (Remember that prayer has been proved useless.)

Which sounds more plausible, that God uses evil ideas, i.e., keeping condoms from AIDS-ridden Africans, to save people's souls or that Satan uses good ideas to trick you into collecting souls for him?

I'd bet money that the snake in Genesis is actually God and Satan turned it around to trick the flocks. So God wants you to read science books and Satan wants you to be a Creationist.

But tell me, religious spies, what is the argument against such an idea? I know there is a theological argument that infers that maybe God and Satan are the same entity, but what if God never wrote a book and speaks through scientific discovery? What if those transitional fossils aren't put there by Satan? What if the real God puts them there to get you away from Satan?

It's fun to think like a fundie. Theology is so easy on the brain. No pesky facts to get in the way...

8. The Neanderthal Debate

Comment #174937 by Oppomystic on May 3, 2008 at 10:29 pm

I have to admit that that is one movie I would like to see:

A Neanderthal is created using old DNA or whatnot and takes it upon himself to eradicate the very creatures that killed off his own people..."Payback's a bitch. Take that, you modern, upright arseholes. I'll teach you to wipe out my species!"

It's Encino Man meets Jurassic Park meets Rambo. I'll get working on that script...

9. Gunk in T. Rex Fossil Confirms Dino-Bird Lineage

Comment #169653 by Oppomystic on April 26, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Yet another article to add to the bulging file...

This article is merely for the paleontologists that are still in denial that birds descended from dinosaurs. Kind of a "wake up" smack to their heads to make them stop embarrassing themselves.

10. Humans nearly wiped out 70,000 years ago, study says

Comment #169015 by Oppomystic on April 25, 2008 at 2:12 pm

ID Poll when I was there...

87% NO

And no neanderthal/sapien crossbreeding? Where did I get this freakin' occipital bun??!

11. If God Is Dead, Who Gets His House?

Comment #165810 by Oppomystic on April 22, 2008 at 11:54 am

The problem with making an atheist "church" is that everyone that attends will want to be the speaker, so the idea needs to be turned on its head. If you think about the types of gatherings that atheists enjoy, i.e., coffee shop meetings, it's plain to see that atheists rarely go someplace to listen to someone else's ideas without being able to respond.

It's simple. Firstly, ditch the singing crap. (Oy, groan.) Secondly, charge a small entry fee. Lastly, let a weekly "speaker" (a new person every week) start the conversation with some opening statements and then s/he will sit down. Then pass around a microphone, and on that microphone have a debit card swiper. The more you pay, the more you say. (This might keep the "sermons" to a minimum. And if they blabber on, well, at least it fills the coffers!)

If anyone gets off-topic, the congregation will let them know with groans and hisses, kind of like parliament. At the end of the discussion, that day's speaker will pull two topics from the suggestion box and the congregation will vote on which to talk about the following week. (Voting will be done by using an applause-o-meter that registers decibels. Quicker that way.) The author of the winning topic will be the conversation starter at the next service.

I would definitely go to this place...

12. The Myth of Secular Moral Chaos

Comment #47789 by Oppomystic on June 5, 2007 at 2:25 pm

I'm surprised to hear that Canada is an atheistic society, being that our Charter of Rights and out national anthem have "God" written into them. As far as I know, the U.S. Bill of Rights and "Star-spangled Banner" (the portion that actually gets sung at events) do not. We do not, however, have any mention of God on our money - for we have to leave enough room for QE2's mug and our indigenous flora and fauna. God how I wish this was an atheistic country...

13. Atheism shall make you free

Comment #47193 by Oppomystic on June 3, 2007 at 12:09 pm

58. Comment #46974 by steve99 on June 2, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Oppomystic:

An interesting summary, but you have Buddhism wrong. Buddhism covers a huge range of beliefs and philosophies, but it does include 'non-spiritual without God' (certain Theravadin schools).

Sorry to be pedantic, but I sometimes I feel I have to battle against the tainting of all Buddhism with the simplistic ideas of Western religions.

59. Comment #46976 by dairic on June 2, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Gnosticism is the belief that "all matter is evil and emancipation comes through spiritual truth." A loose translation would be: "Reality is terrible, painful, and meaningless, so get yourself to church regularly to prepare for the good times of the afterlife."

If you do not hold this same belief, because you enjoy your miserable, materialistic world, then you are a-gnostic. It's as simple as that. No deities involved whatsoever. Agnosticism is about spirituality, not deities.


Oppomystic, I'm curious to know what is your definition of "spirituality" and "spiritual truth".

To the first, sorry to imply that all Buddhists are spiritual, being that gaining enlightenment might take you a few lifetimes. (Note sarcasm, and see "spiritual truth" for reincarnation.)

To the second...

"Spirituality" is anything pertaining to magic-thinking while alive: religion, luck, karma, superstition, crystals, horoscopes, guardian angels, guardian aliens, psychics, seances, The Secret, Deepak Chopra, magic bracelets and other jewelry, etc. Consider these items as coping mechanisms (narcotics) for living in the "evil" world of the material - to make it appear that you are in control of uncontrollable things. (All you have to do is pray or cross your fingers.)

"Spiritual Truth" is whatever you personally find out after death, whether that be infinite light, heaven, hell, reincarnation, transportation to an alien planet, or any similar idea that flies through your brain right before the lights turn out completely. But this is merely YOUR personal truth. Mine will be different. This truth is the last thought that you think, and being that it comes from your subconscious it is just one more thing you cannot control.

Finally, your last thought will be so similar to your first thought that you won't know whether you are coming or going...

14. Atheism shall make you free

Comment #46951 by Oppomystic on June 2, 2007 at 10:58 am

Let us not forget the original intended meaning of agnosticism by Huxley's standards...

Gnosticism is the belief that "all matter is evil and emancipation comes through spiritual truth." A loose translation would be: "Reality is terrible, painful, and meaningless, so get yourself to church regularly to prepare for the good times of the afterlife."

If you do not hold this same belief, because you enjoy your miserable, materialistic world, then you are a-gnostic. It's as simple as that. No deities involved whatsoever. Agnosticism is about spirituality, not deities.

Can theists be agnostic? Well, I have yet to meet a theist that believes in God but is not spiritual about it, so the answer is a bellowing NO. Theists have to be Gnostic, for if they are not then they are merely deists. Deists are happy in the material world and although they believe in a god they do not expect to meet him upon their deaths. No spirituality involved. See the pattern? So here's the list:

Spiritual = Gnostic
Spiritual with god = Theist
Spiritual without god = Mystic Atheist*
Non-spiritual = Agnostic
Non-spiritual with god = Deistic
Non-spiritual without god = Agnostic Atheist (Combine these two and you've got your new creed.)

*a mystic atheist would be a Buddhist, an ancestor worshipper, a Chi expert, a Feng Shui expert, a power crystal-wearer, etc.

15. Groundbreaking Research Has Scientists Talking With Apes

Comment #46745 by Oppomystic on June 1, 2007 at 11:01 am

Oh, to return to the days of not being ashamed of nakedness - that was paradise!

16. Comic in US 'hate speech' row

Comment #44871 by Oppomystic on May 25, 2007 at 12:33 pm

All Britain needs to do is threaten to commit religious people. It IS a mental illness, after all! (This is to round up all the moderates.)

If your faith is determined to be stronger than your ability to reason then you will be tossed into a hospital with fanatics, fundamentalists, extremists, and people that think they are prophets. I feel moderates might be quicker to smarten up than be locked in with that lot.

When the chips are down and religious extremists are marching down the street shooting blasphemers (hypothetically), does anyone think the moderates are going to try and reason with them? Moderately religious people are the Nazi sympathisers of the 21st century...

"If you don't condemn it, you condone it."

17. Science education requires overcoming childhood understanding

Comment #44853 by Oppomystic on May 25, 2007 at 11:58 am

What needs to happen is parent licencing. To quote Keanu Reeves from the movie "Parenthood":

"You need a licence to open a business, you need a licence to drive a car, hell, you even need a licence to catch a fish, but they'll let any old asshole be a [parent]..."

Those whom deny evolution or the age of the planet on the written exam get an automatic fail and are sent to the back of the line - perhaps they could read a real science book while waiting.

18. I Don't Believe in Atheists

Comment #44389 by Oppomystic on May 24, 2007 at 1:32 pm

Yes, religion doesn't kill people, people kill people. Just like guns.

Both are quite capable of getting rid of a lot of people in short periods of time. I think the world would be better off without either...

19. Prayer can improve physical health

Comment #43739 by Oppomystic on May 22, 2007 at 11:59 am

Of course prayer or chant is helpful. If you're lying in a bed sick it is far more supportive for your family to say positive things then to stand there and tell you to "die already" or that "you're an asshole."

Maybe they should do an alternate study that shows people die faster or get sicker if they are berated and insulted...

I get the impression that religious folk think that atheists stand over their sick loved ones with blank stares and no kind words. What else could a non-believer provide? Probably not what they are insinuating, but I still want to smack these people with a rolled-up magazine.

Still wondering why no one is praying for amputees to grow new limbs! C'mon, all you have to do is believe! Make it happen! Or stick to healing "pain" and other non-testable, non-miraculous things...

20. Antarctic 'treasure trove' found

Comment #42113 by Oppomystic on May 17, 2007 at 4:20 pm

Eeew, gross! Remind me never to go swimming in the Antarctic...