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Comments by Diacanu


1. Christians challenge teaching of evolution

Comment #204558 by Diacanu on July 5, 2008 at 8:02 am

Well, let's see some evolutionists speaking up in churches, and see how they like that shit.

Religionists just think they have carte blank to attack everything everywhere, but they get to have their little bunker.

Bullshit.

Doesn't work that way.

They broke the gentleman's agreement between religion and science ages ago.

Time for the glove slapping.

2. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204556 by Diacanu on July 5, 2008 at 7:53 am

txpiper-

Howcome you christians refuse to acknowlege people describing your beliefs and props as exactly what they are?

Magic books, bronze age legends, invisible sky daddy, underground fire place, invisible sky daddy's zombie son.

We use these terms as ridicule, but they're only honestly explaining by your own terms what these things are.

What, the magic won't work if you agree to these words by acknowleging them?

Tell me, would the bible still have magic if it were in Chinese, in braille, and you held it upside down, and it had pages missing?

If not, then what makes english so wonderful?

And if there's nothing particularly magic about english, then what's one more step, and decribing these things as they are?
Jesus is a zombie.
God is invisible, he lives in the sky, and he's a daddy.
The bible is supposedly magic.
Supernatural happenings are magic, why are you christians even annoyed by that word?

Seems like avoiding this language is yet another superstition.
And like all superstitions, it's irrational.

And it seems to me, by avoiding even addressing it, you can avoid facing what bullshit you actually believe in.
If you called God "invisible sky daddy", and Jesus "zombie carpenter", you'd feel silly.
So, you have to dress these concepts up in respectibility with the bullshit language of the Bible.
Or else, the magic won't work.

But, if you're reading that bullshit in english, you've already fucked the magic up, haven't you?

Unless, again, language doesn't matter.

In which case why be offended by zombie carpenter, invisible sky daddy, magic book, and puff of magic creation?

And if you're not offended, why avoid the terms?

You can't have it both ways.

And the fact remains that you christians do indeed try to have it both ways.

It's yet another hypocrisy.
And like all religion's hypocrisies, you never face them.

Plug your ears, hum, and ignore this post, and prove my point.

You humorless, oblivious, superstitious, mythology worshipper.

3. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204550 by Diacanu on July 5, 2008 at 7:32 am

txpiper-


To me, things like that are brown spots in your ideological banana.


So what does a banana look like that has NO evidence, and the case being made with that non-evidence is outlandish magical claims from middle eastern myths?

It'd pretty much be a fully blackened empty peel on a sidewalk with ants all over it, wouldn't it?

4. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204298 by Diacanu on July 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Philip1978-

Oh, don't puss out!!
Beat his ass!!
The teacup commands you!!

5. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204271 by Diacanu on July 4, 2008 at 2:42 pm

(Posesses Philip's teacup)

Yes, you are more powerful than txpiper.
I am your one true friend. Your one true ally.
Use to me to destroy him!
I am the hammer of righteousness.
Crush him.
Use me to crush him!
Yes, yes, feel the tea flow through you!!
Breathing strength into your fists of rage!
Destroy him!!
Leave nothing to his posterity but ashes to the breeze!!
Destroy!!

(Hops out of the teacup, re-solidifies back into human form)

(Walks away with hands in pockets whistling as Philp proceeds to bludgeon Timmy Xavier senseless with his teacup)

6. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204204 by Diacanu on July 4, 2008 at 11:44 am

txpiper-


Materialism is in and of itself a bias.


Yeah, reality does have a certain bias for it.

Like it's biased towards a blue sky, a heliocentric solar system, and objects with sufficient mass forming a gravity well.

7. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #204159 by Diacanu on July 4, 2008 at 8:51 am

Ah, Timmy's back.

He's like Jason Voorhees, or herpes.

txpiper-


You seem to think that materialist peers are a scientific supreme court. They aren't. They are just religious materialists, functioning inside the parameters of the faith, and enjoying the prestige and perks that come with being a reviewer.


Ah, yes, here we go again with this.
It's all a big conspiracy.
The evil materialists are out to destroy your faith with evil empiricism to send you to Hell.
But you'll vanquish us demons with piles and piles of bullshit from your typing fingers.

Onward christian sooo-oo-ooldier!!

Come on dude, there has to be some part of you somewhere deep under the muck that sees yourself, and knows how fucking batty you sound.

Doubting evolution because of your religious indoctrination is one thing, but supposing the biggest conspiracy in the UNIVERSE to hide the truth, and the truth being that an ice sheild melted, flooded the earth, and all the animals on the planet fit into a wooden box...come on...this really seems rational to you??

Really?

Of course you'll say yes now, but there has to be a part of you that realizes how wacko you're getting having to stack the bullshit so high to defend this worldview.

Yeah, and you'll just throw back "well, evolution is an insane blah, blah, blah..".

Well, that takes us back to Brian's challenge, fuck evolution, what else have you got for us?

Magic won't cut it.
I think by now you know why.

8. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #203214 by Diacanu on July 2, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Wow, this thread really got away from me.

So, is Robert O'Brien still valiantly waging psychic war in the name of his imaginary friend, Jesus Herbert Christ, who doesn't need rescuing, because he's allegedly death-proof?

So much effort hurled forth by the Jesus fanclub, and yet, God supposedly doesn't need bodyguards.
You couldn't tell it from their behavior though.

One could almost laugh if it weren't such a tragic waste of human resources.

Imagine if all those braincells were being used to cure cancer.

9. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202701 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Robert O'Brien-

Well, whatever you call the magic-weilding creature you believe in, Yahweh, Jehovah, Odin, Zeus, Sky Fairy, Big-Fuckin-Leprechaun, it's all the same, really.

A difference that makes no difference is not a difference.

10. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202697 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Robert O'Brien-

Invisible magic weilding giants are coherant?

11. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202693 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Robert O'Brien-


You have yet to post anything substantive,..


Now, now, stop abusing yourself in the mirror.

It ruins the fun.

12. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202689 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Ain't it cute how the moron trolls come on here, and not only parade their stupidity, but wave it in front of them like a big dick?
But, the dick is always paper mache.
And there's never candy inside.
At least Dinesh D'souza had the decency to fill his paper mache dick full of smarties for the children.

13. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202683 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 7:57 pm

Robert O'Brien-


No, but they do contain mathematics that would make your feeble head a-splode.


So, do any of them have a particular chapter on giant universe-poofing fairies, or, did the universe-poofing fairy tumble out of your own personal calculations?

Or, did your head a-splode, releasing all the fairies?

This an important distinction, because cleary the universe-poofing fairy crept into this whole process for you somewhere.

14. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202678 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Robert O' Brien-


Do you have even one textbook on QM in your library? (I have several.)


Do they have illustrations by Brian Froud of the various particle fairies?

15. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202674 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 7:43 pm

Robert O' Brien-


I do not believe in fairies...


Unless you make the fairy really big, put him up in the sky, and give him a wand big enough to poof universes into existence.

Then, it all becomes perfectly logical somehow.

I suppose it's by more of the same magic, eh?

16. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #202667 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 7:35 pm

Robert O'Brien-


If you are referring to the Bible,...


I am, and your sloppy attempt to distract from the point that you literally believe in fairy tales has failed utterly.
Nice try though.


I do not care if you are a theist because I do not care about you.


How christlike.

Jesus's fanclub, such a jolly warm hearted bunch.

17. Can't Darwin and God get along?

Comment #202639 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Goldy-


Kestrel, you join forces with the religious at your peril - they want you, totally and utterly.


Exactly.

Religion doesn't want compromise, it wants its bullshit ideas to WIN.

It didn't want compromise when it had the power to try to eradicate evolution flat out.

All its so-called compromises are political smoke and mirrors.
It only "compromises", when reality forces it to fall back.

18. Can't Darwin and God get along?

Comment #202625 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm

Oh and...

Kentrel-


...here we have someone who can offer common ground between atheists and the religious, ...


Yeah, that sounds so fucking lovely, it really does, but this isn't Coke drinkers vs. Pepsi drinkers.

It's truth vs. lies.

Religion is fake, evolution is true.

You can't drive down the middle of that street.
Pick a fucking lane, folks.
Pick a fucking lane.

19. Can't Darwin and God get along?

Comment #202623 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 5:48 pm

Steve Zara-


I am afraid that at least for me, it isn't reasonable enough,


Agreed.

Bullshit wrapped in the "golly gee willikers, gang", tone of the pseudo-peacemaker is still bullshit.

20. Can't Darwin and God get along?

Comment #202621 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Kentrel-

My heart bleeds for your wounded sensibilities, really.

*Rubs thumb and index finger together*

See? I'm playing the saddest song in the world on the world's smallest violin just for you.

Gut wrenching stuff, no?

Wanna hanky?
Eh?
Hanky for your boogies?

21. Can't Darwin and God get along?

Comment #202415 by Diacanu on July 1, 2008 at 1:11 pm

The title of his book should've been "mollycoddling the deluded".
A must-miss on my reading list. Right up there with "The Secret".

22. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #201842 by Diacanu on June 30, 2008 at 10:06 am

So, I guess the answer would be D then.
:)

23. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #201838 by Diacanu on June 30, 2008 at 10:02 am

Robert O'Brien-


Is Diacanu...

1. Lacking in native intelligence.
2. A vapid atheist.


Hey, I'm not the one using bad logic, long ago refuted arguments, and a total lack of evidence to shore up literal belief in bronze age fairy tales.

24. Mormons urged to back ban on same-sex marriage

Comment #201809 by Diacanu on June 30, 2008 at 9:34 am

I'm late to this thread, help me out here..

Is Robert O'Brien...

A. Fuckin' stupid.
B. Fulla shit.
C. Fuckin' nuts.
D. All of the above.

25. Faith schools undermined by 'Government witch hunt'

Comment #201797 by Diacanu on June 30, 2008 at 9:21 am

Apathy Personified-

You're intolerant to their intolerance!!

Persecution!! Persecution!!

26. Faith schools undermined by 'Government witch hunt'

Comment #201773 by Diacanu on June 30, 2008 at 8:53 am

Don't you just fucking love how opposing religion in any way, in any degree, no matter how shady their agenda, makes them piggy-squeal persecution?

Why, don't you know you're just supposed to roll over, and give them everything they want?

And what do they want?
Oh, just everything.
All the money, all the influence, hands on every lever, seats at every table, everyone's brains, especially sweet juicy child brains, and everyone who doesn't believe their bullshit terrorized or dead.

That's all.
Golly gee willikers it's not much.
Buncha meanies, why can't they have it?
It's persecution, I tells ya.
*Lip quiver, sniffle*

27. I believe that there is no God.

Comment #200346 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 11:04 am

theIdiot-


Deuurr!!!!


Pretty much what I thought.
Marked as troll.

28. I believe that there is no God.

Comment #200339 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 10:40 am

theIdiot-


So shut your ass up,...


Or you'll what, Butch?

29. Non-voters: It's all in God's hands

Comment #200336 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 10:37 am

Sciros-


I think a "Batman for president" campaign needs to be promoted.


Sounds like a plan to me.

30. I believe that there is no God.

Comment #200329 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 10:22 am

theIdiot-

It's really this simple, I'm good because I'm good, you're good because you fear an invisible man in the sky sending you to a pit of fire in the mantle of the earth.

You're a scumbag.

Next case.

31. Non-voters: It's all in God's hands

Comment #200328 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 10:17 am

Vacingetorix-

Ah, so you agree that the system is decaying, and we're all going to die screaming and writhing?

Good, glad we're on the same page. :)

32. Non-voters: It's all in God's hands

Comment #200317 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 9:49 am

Vecingetorix-

*Head pat* Yeah, that's nice, why don't I just write in Daffy Duck while I'm at it too, eh?

Now go to sleep.

33. Non-voters: It's all in God's hands

Comment #200310 by Diacanu on June 27, 2008 at 9:38 am


"It can be reasoned that if one believes God determines worldly affairs, then there is little reason for individuals to participate in civic events,"


Of course, that likely had to be translated from the patterns of moaning, drooling, slurring, and gasping from the subjects momentarily forgetting how to breathe.

34. An Interview with Prof. Richard Dawkins

Comment #200024 by Diacanu on June 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm

scotochromagen-

Hmm, don't think I've ever thought of it that way...

Non-existence being a better "place", than cancer.

Naturally, yeah.

I always thought of it as meaning the afterlife, and better than this world, period.

Good point, you've given me a new perspective to ponder.

35. Creationist critics get their comeuppance

Comment #199785 by Diacanu on June 26, 2008 at 11:02 am

Caudimordax-

Stephen Colbert.

36. An Interview with Prof. Richard Dawkins

Comment #199721 by Diacanu on June 26, 2008 at 8:40 am

Styrer-


Hopkins did, I think, give a magnanimity and a universality to the part which undermined, welcomely, the fuckwit whose real-life part he was playing.


Exactly.


Trusting you were touched PRECISELY because of the dewy-eyed sentiment which is real in this world and can never be a nod to a non-existent 'here-after'. THAT kind of feeling is real, to be hankered after, to be longed for.


I did, and agreed.


But living AGAIN after death? Without my head, my dick, my legs, my BODY? Don't want it.

So what is it supposed to be, this 'afterlife'? Bunches of disembodied 'bits' bumping around?

How the hell do I give my mum a hug?

Fuck that.


Agreed.

And that brings me to the mindless zombie phrase I kept hearing at my grandma's funeral "she's in a better place".

That's totally something people say without even thinking of it at all.

Because let's just think about it just a little bit here "she's in a better place".

A better place than on earth with the family that loves her?
REALLY??

There's a better place, with better people than us?
We're not good enough?
Love isn't good enough?

If you think love isn't good enough, that there's a place with something better than that, there's something seriously and deeply mentally wrong with you.

Another insult to love, and thus humanity, and thus our deepest dignity.

This is what religion has to offer.
These are its so-called "comforts".


Take the metaphorical, poetic, wish-thinking beauty away from notions of death and you're left with the real, poetic, fulfilling beauty that LIFE gives you.

Want more life? Eat more bran. Beyond that, let's stop being so unbelievably fucking ungrateful as to demand more, and more which is not even based on WHAT MAKES US HUMAN NOW.


Took the words out of my mouth there.


Fuckwits everywhere.

Rant on, Diacanu. You're right, and a fucking tonic.


I shall, and thanks.
:)

37. An Interview with Prof. Richard Dawkins

Comment #199459 by Diacanu on June 25, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Styrer-

Oh, Hopkins was good, that's why I even watched it.
And it's a good flick.
Precisely because so much of Lewis's religious shit was trimmed.

But, I know how the real life story turned out, and it's the perfect illustration to me why the "comfort", of such beliefs, religion's one true claim to goodness, is itself tainted.

And to me personally, is an abject lesson in everything I refuse to do with grief, and mourning, and loss, and what I refuse to let my relatives do with my memory when I croak.

I want humanity, and celebraton of life, not make-believe spook shit.

38. An Interview with Prof. Richard Dawkins

Comment #199451 by Diacanu on June 25, 2008 at 7:24 pm

Okay, I haven't gotten too far into this, and already the "psychological succour", thing has cropped up, and pissed me off.

I watched "Shadowlands", on OvationTV last night, and the ending to that pissed me off, and totally fits into this subject.

It IS a sweet real life love story how C.S. Lewis met his wife, and sad and tear-jerky how he lost her to cancer, and the movie chops it off, but how he coped with it in real life was by relinquishing her memory to love Jesus more, which is, to steal a line from Hitchens, an attack on our deepest human integrity.

That's not succour, that's a harmful morality damaging narcotic.

We all, atheist and religionist alike, get pissed off at charlatain psychic assholes who try to replace the memories of our dead beloved with stupid voices in a dark room.

BUT replace spooks with Jesus, and it becomes culturally acceptable somehow.

Fuck that.

Fuck that.

My grandma is dead, she's gone, sometimes it hurts to remember her, sometimes it doesn't, but the pain or lack of it, is REAL.

That's what fucking life is.

"Oh, you're not attacking people's emotional crutches, are you? Maybe their leg is broken, and they NEED the crutch and myeh, myeh, myeh..".

Yes, I'm attacking their crutch.
I'm attacking the crutch they use to cope with pain.
I'm doing it.
Yes.

"Oh, who are YOU to myeh, myeh..".

I'm fucking ME, and I'm fucking sayin' it.

Fuck crutches, and fuck you if you have one.
Fuck you.

I'm not the one INSULTING the memory of the dead by pretending they're a spook floating around on a fucking cloud.

It's fucking infantile.
Remember them how they REALLY were, and grow up.

Fucking shit.

I'm pissed now, that C.S. Lewis stuff really fucking got to me.

Attacks our deepest human integrity indeed, you nailed it Hitch.

39. Saving Us from Darwin

Comment #198906 by Diacanu on June 24, 2008 at 5:24 pm

SharonMcT-


TeraBrat:

Fuck off. ;)

Edit: *whew* I've been wanting to say that for a few days now.


*Exhales*
THANK YOU!

Ditto there.

40. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #198163 by Diacanu on June 23, 2008 at 9:45 am

Steve Zara-


I suggest we explore his psychology, and try and understand why he has this feeling of self-importance,


It's not psychology, so much as biology.

Cancer thinks it's really fucking important.

Look how it claims priority over the organs it snacks on.

Txpiper's original human brain for example.

41. Award-winning comedian George Carlin dies

Comment #198129 by Diacanu on June 23, 2008 at 9:06 am

Well, there goes my dream.

I had it all planned out, I was going to write some books, get d-list famous, but enough so I could get on Bill Maher the same time as George Carlin, and finally meet him, and shake his hand.

Shit, if Stan Lee croaks, I got nothin'.

What famous people can I hang out with then?
Like Al-Rawandi brought up, Dane fucking Cook?
Blah.

Depressing.

42. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #198123 by Diacanu on June 23, 2008 at 8:52 am

*Feeling rotten already, then I see txpiper still spewing*

Txpiper....just go fuckin' eat rat poison, would ya?

Planet still spinning with a cancerous mole like you on it, while good people die.
There's no God alright.
Solves that equation right there.
To the nearest fucking decimal place.

43. Award-winning comedian George Carlin dies

Comment #198114 by Diacanu on June 23, 2008 at 8:31 am

AoClay-


That's my two favorite comedians down now, Hicks and Carlin. Man, I didn't think he'd die quite yet.


Man, you said it. :(

44. Award-winning comedian George Carlin dies

Comment #198108 by Diacanu on June 23, 2008 at 8:15 am

Awwwww fuuuuuuck. :(

I'm punched in the gut.

He was my friggin hero.

His concerts literally kept me sane as a teenager.

That's so weird, I just had a marathon of all his DVDs over the past week.

Man, I knew he was getting on in years, and had a bad ticker, but I thought we had a couple more decades left with him.
"It's bad for ya", really was his last one, I'm gonna savor that one as a holy relic when it's finally out. :(

Aw, man, what a story to wake up to.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. :(

45. The Flea Delusion

Comment #197768 by Diacanu on June 22, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Diacanu-


Teratornis-


....and then peak oil is going to kill 99% of the human population.
Women will eat their babies.
People will starve to death at superspeed from the sheer poverty energy in the air.
The bones will push through the flesh before your eyes. The flesh. The flesh. The flesh.
A human skull. On the ground. Human skull. On the ground. Turn around.



There you go, I added that for you.
:)


....ah hell..

*Dances in tophat and tails*

Turn around!! Turn around!! There's a thing there that can be fooouund!!

Turn around! Turn around!

There's a human skull on the ground!!

Human skull!!

On the ground!!

Tuuurn aroooouund!!!

*Gets on knees and outstetches arms as if expecting wave of applause*

*Gets pelted with tomatoes*

*Embraces it like a baptism*

Yes!! Yes!! Yeee-heh-heh-heeesss!!!!

*Tears of joy*

46. The Flea Delusion

Comment #197763 by Diacanu on June 22, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Teratornis-


....and then peak oil is going to kill 99% of the human population.
Women will eat their babies.
People will starve to death at superspeed from the sheer poverty energy in the air.
The bones will push through the flesh before your eyes. The flesh. The flesh. The flesh.
A human skull. On the ground. Human skull. On the ground. Turn around.


There you go, I added that for you.
:)

47. The Flea Delusion

Comment #197748 by Diacanu on June 22, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Richard Dawkins-


The jokes in The Delusion Delusion are all variants on "This page is left intentionally blank." "There is no page 5 in this book, so I added one because we have to make up the page count somehow" "This page is not a delusion. This is just to help me get past page 58." "Remember that the real purpose is to fill up the pages so we can call this a book." "Congratulations! You have read beyond page 18 and you are still awake. And I have managed to fill 57 pages of a real book." In other words it is an unabashed pot-boiler and the only joke it contains is "This book is an unabashed pot-boiler."


Tch, I'm funnier than that!
I wrote stuff that corny back in 5th grade!
Shit, I could pound out a funnier God Delusion parody in a couple months!

...ehhh...but I won't, I don't wanna be a parasite.

(As Conan)
I will have my OWN kingdom!

48. The Flea Delusion

Comment #197579 by Diacanu on June 22, 2008 at 10:47 am

Josh has to either get his butt in gear, or have someone else do it, but all the new ones have to be spliced onto that little orbit chart.

Come on, someone here has to be a graphic artist, let's get that shit done, gang.

49. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #196928 by Diacanu on June 20, 2008 at 3:45 pm

Actually, post 8412 is merely a literal representation of the mental priming I go through before engaging txpiper.
:P

Except in my mind, when my post has concluded, I swing the spear thingy, pop his head off like a dandelion, and cause it to roll down a little hill into one of 4 numbered holes, and you're all cheering and betting on the hole.

50. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #196918 by Diacanu on June 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm

alvorin-

MONSTER!!!! THIS IS THE END OF YOOOUUUUUU!!!!

*Chest kicks him onto the ground, alvorin splays helplessy as Diacanu rases a golden spear pike with a sort of curved bladed like tip to it*

HERE IT COMES!!! HERE IT COOMES!!!!

*Goldy tugs on Diacanu's shirt*

What?

What?

*Reads alvorin's reply*

Ohh...sorry....

Ahem...*skulks off quietly*

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