1. When too much Rapture is barely enough

Comment #204700 by Ansu on July 5, 2008 at 2:40 pm

This been probably has been said before but i really hope some one hacks that rapture letter site and send all the letters one of this days.

Non christian friend: hey, i recived a letter from you saying that you have been raptured... how come you are still here?
Chrisitian friend: Uh - Oh

It will make some chaos and then end this stupidity of these rapture letters.

2. Obama Wants to Expand Role of Religious Groups

Comment #204366 by Ansu on July 4, 2008 at 9:19 pm

By the way check this

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=117048&title=constitution-schmonstitution

Back on 2003, an answer to bush fith based plan.

I got a church. Give me my money.

3. New Zealand man sells his soul to 'Hell'

Comment #203734 by Ansu on July 3, 2008 at 1:06 pm

You could start a company that deal exclusively with soul selling. You could put a price on it and display a simbol of ownership somewhere everyone can see it and let the free market decide the price of each soul. Then you could add something funny like nicknaming the soul you own and... OMG FACEBOOK APLICATION FRIENDS FOR SALE IS STEALING OUR SOULS!!!!

4. Obama Wants to Expand Role of Religious Groups

Comment #203226 by Ansu on July 2, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Being a president of all the people means being president of ALL the people, including the nuts.
That kind of deal, in politics, it means its ALWAYS the lesser of two evils.

So: Down with democracy, Socrates as philosopher king.

or...

Form a atheist/secular lobby and push your special interests ahead of the special interests of the religious lobby.
So, with elections and lobbies, every nation got the president it deserves. Unless they commit electoral fraud. But then again, if you LET them commit fraud...

Politics are fun.

5. Physicists in Congress Calculate Their Influence

Comment #193511 by Ansu on June 15, 2008 at 6:19 pm

..said Vernon J. Ehlers, a Republican who taught the subject at Calvin... College

I wonder how can he be both a Republican and a scientist and still manage to hold himself from crying endlessly while hiding in fetal position under his desk.

6. Analysis of SB 733: 'LA Science Education Act'

Comment #191775 by Ansu on June 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Dont worry about Bobby. He is probably a secret muslim...
or at least secret hinduist...
have you ever seen him eat a pig?
or a cow?
and he probably doesnt wear a flag pin.
secret terrorist. No doubt.
(silly arguments, arent they? yet... )

Plus, catholics dont support ID. So its not out of religion convictions ,but more for political advantage. If he sings that bill thats good bye to his VP post. ( McCain has lots of nuts to choose from, I dont think he needs one more- remember he now has to lure the Clinton supporters ) So I think he will chicken out.

7. Regime change in heaven

Comment #191455 by Ansu on June 11, 2008 at 2:14 am

Ha, of course it was easy, for invading always is.
Occupation however...

8. Stupid flies live longer: study

Comment #189089 by Ansu on June 5, 2008 at 11:57 am

I dunno. The smart flies in my house tend to live up to 5 minutes longer while I chase them around. One was so clever at escaping me, that I finally captured it in a net and let it go, out of respect for its abilities.

Its smarter than you thought. It evolved to take advantage of your pity for them.

9. The Expelled Evolutionist

Comment #189073 by Ansu on June 5, 2008 at 11:08 am

Teachers should have the right to teach what they believe is right, even if it runs counter to the scientific mainstream

or logic, or anything that is not what they believe in.

Isnt that the definition of Truthiness?

10. Car dealership advert tells atheists to 'shut up'

Comment #185455 by Ansu on May 27, 2008 at 8:50 pm

I know this isnt very mature, but I send this to the "prayer request" in the vancuver toyota dealership:

Please pray for my sick son. Hes got brain cancer and he will die soon. We know his death is inevitable, and we only want god to acomplish his last wish: a free Toyota from the Vancuver store. I Know your prayers can make this come true!
(PS: ask for a black one)

I am really sorry and i know this is not the way to deal with this kind of people, but i was really piss off by this:

Please use this form for prayer requests only.
Due to technical limitations, please limit your request to 1700 characters or less. We encourage you to include your phone number and e-mail address so that we can serve you better through any necessary correspondence. If you would like to correspond with the ministry, please use our contact form to have your e-mail answered. Thank You!

What correspondence ? in case god talks them back and ask for more details?
In reality this bastards are doing nothing but stealing emails with this prayer trick so they can spam them with publicity. Luckly for them theres no hell because if there were they will be burning on it soon.
Car dealership traps make baby Jesus cry.

11. UC Berkeley is going to court over Evolution website

Comment #180784 by Ansu on May 15, 2008 at 7:45 pm

I am offended by the drawing. Scientists allied with priests with evil smiles. It looks like a couple of bad guys from The Golden compass.

12. Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens

Comment #179797 by Ansu on May 13, 2008 at 6:53 pm

- If they die, they have commited the original sin.
So shoot em in the head* and if they die you can evangelize them

*if they have no heads, or you just cant find it , just use a flame thrower. In case they are still alive, be creative.

13. Computer game's high score could earn the Nobel Prize in medicine

Comment #178405 by Ansu on May 11, 2008 at 11:07 am

And my father said playing videogames wouldnt take me anywhere...
NP here I go!

14. Is Liberal Catholicism Dead?

Comment #176143 by Ansu on May 6, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Why bother "reforming" the church? Just start your own, or quit altogether.

I will like to add something to this conversation.
Being myself from one of those countries with 98% (yes, 98) percent of the population being catholic,in a country that has being catholic from its very foundation ( although our "founding father"- just one- might have been a bit of an atheist),i can gladly say that for some Latins, catholicism is more than just a religion. It is who we are. Something similar happens with the jews, who may stop believing but the rites and such are part of their history and culture and wont quit on them just because of the religious overtones.
I considered myself catholic for 15 years, even thought i never had to take a religion course until i had to do my communion , and never after that. I was able to live under the freedom of believing what ever i wanted and going to church to read videogames magazines ( my mom actualy bribed into going in exchange for the magazine once)
There are no religion wars in Latin America, theres no hate ( as far as know) to jews or Muslims.The church spends most of his time screwing around with politics and most of our religion discussion was about how the church was helping this or that candidate and screwing around with this or that process .
They did screw all of us long time ago, in the time of the conquest. But unlike the pilgrims, Spanish did mix with the locals and the Africans and produced a mis-mash of races and cultures. Under the shadow , African and Indian religions grew until, they mixed up with catholicism, and our pagan and Christian believes are now mostly indistinguishable. The bible was seen as a dark and confusing book mostly to be translated by the church, which lead to none reading that bloody thing, which was good .
Catholics (at least the ones around here) are not like not methodists, nor pentecostals. They dont see their religion as a way to get to god, they see it as a part of themselves, and as a thing to do after they get old and got nothing better to do.
And that is thanks to the reforms. Religion doesnt get into science classes ,i dont get stoned when i say i am an atheist ,and the religion tolerance is so big that it makes me sick ( we got scientology here too... and its not the stupidest thing around... and people look bad at me when i speak badly of them) Thats because the Catholics "protected" the country from their more radicals offspring's. Here the catholic church is the lesser of all evils ( in what to concerns to the other like Christian churches floating around here hoping the church will fall) and the more reforms, the less evil it will be.
Maybe most of these liberal catholics will realize how silly their belief are if confronted, but the fun thing is that, they never are. No terrorism, no religious persecution, no kids dying because their parents didn't go to a doctor because they were praying , no death for refusing blood transfers, evolution told by priests, Just politics and the church screwing around with it. Scandals are because of the church, never the religion. Theres never a real reason to think religion is bad, Just the damn church.

I myself never had anything against religion until I meet the Jehova Witness. They managed to convince me they were more Christians that us, but it didnt yield the results they expected:
So "this" is real christianism? I said, well, then i am an atheist. I am not their only convert to atheism, by the way. Most of the atheists I know -two or three-( 98% remember?) is either because of them or because of the pentecostals. People angry with the catholic just dont go to church.
It was because of them that I understand for the first time in my life, how evil could religion be.

Most people are unhappy with the church resolutions ,and long for a reform. They seriously believe there could be a catholicism that could include gays, aloud euthanasia and birth control, and only those "damn priest" are avoiding it from happening. They dont want to abandon catholicism. is their culture, is who they are. They only hope their religion becomes what they want to become.
And yes, i believe they have done horrible things, specially here. And i dream of the day they are gone as well. But i rather have a confused catholic trying to apologize for the killing of Indians by blaming the church that a Adventist telling me how bad is the church is and mean- while calling to bring death to the non believers and bring forth the apocalypse by declaring war to Colombia.
All religions may be bad, but if so, its obvious that some are worse than others. Reforms is what makes the difference ( or just being founded in Asia... what was in Mesopotamia water that made people go nuts?)

15. School bars same-sex partners at formals

Comment #161429 by Ansu on April 15, 2008 at 9:36 am

How about a dont ask dont tell police? He wont tell he brought a boy to the ball and you dont ask whos his partner is.
It worked for the army... more or less..

16. Beware the Believers

Comment #151762 by Ansu on March 29, 2008 at 10:32 am

I must admit I didnt get it the first time around and I was a bit scared it was some sort of ID propaganda but after reading the lyrics I could see what the general idea was.
This kind of humour was kind of common some years ago- just check for example Weird Al "White and Nerdy"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw)
Or in the same topic some of MC Hawking`s (Theoretical physicist -Gansta rapper) late works.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MC_Hawking)

An example:
Lyrics from F*** the creationists by MC Hawking:

F*** the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass b***s,
every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
They want to have their bull***, taught in public class,
Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.

But to explain just how funny plain nonsense is, this one will be self explicatory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD0eTO4Juoo
Is has no meaning at all and it will be something only those who are familiar with the "new atheists" could find funny because no one else could recognize them.
So this is the "new atheists humour": Having the major figures of the movement dancing, rapping, or both.
I am not proud of it, but I find it funny as well. My generation is doomed.