1. Was there ever dog that praised his fleas?

Comment #24799 by ArtlessFrank on March 8, 2007 at 4:24 pm

This has truly been a fascinating thread, one of the best! I'd like to make a little contribution if I may...

Veronique: "Matthew and Luke are incoherent ramblers about Jesus, miracles and other supernatural stuff that just beggars belief."

That certainly is the case. Especially in the case of Matthew, who egregiously tries to wedge prophecy into every little event in the Jesus narrative with hilarious results.

Take the very popular scene of Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey for example. Matthew does his homework and is reminded of Zacheriah 9:9, whereby the "King of Jerusalem" enters on "a donkey, a colt, the foal of a donkey". Matthew then dutifly describes Jesus ordering two disciples to "Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Unite them and bring them to me" (Matt. 21:2). So, in a scene that makes me laugh every time I think of it, Matthew has Jesus straddle both steeds as he enters Jerusalem! ("7 They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them") I imagine the two disciples following him in great confusion, with Jesus muttering profanities as he tries to keep one leg over each beast and struggles to keep the two animals going in the same direction :-)

According to jesusseminar.com, this was a simple mistake that Matthew made.

"In the Hebrew text of Zech 9:9 it is clear that these are two descriptions of the same beast: parallel phrasing like this is quite common in Hebrew poetry. But in the Septuagint version of Zechariah, the Greek word for "and" appears: "a pack animal and a young colt."

It his hilarious really, and even more hilarious that there are well meaning and relatively intelligent people out there that choose to take the gospels as literal truth.

Also very humerous is when Matthew actually makes an incorrect link to prophecy in chapter 27 verses 9 and 10. When recounting the scene where Judas gives over 30 silver coins to the chief priests and elders who use it to buy a burial field, Matthew writes, "Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled..." If you follow the little footnote at the end of this verse in your bible, you will notice that the link to this "prophecy" takes you to Zechariah 11:12, not Jeremiah. Matthew, in his frenzied attempt to link Jesus to every possible bit of old testament ramblings, got his prophets mixed up. And there for all to see is great proof that the bible was clearly not written by an omniscient God, but ordinary, fallible, ambitious human beings with a cause to peddle.

2. Researchers find 6,000-year-old fossil evidence

Comment #22425 by ArtlessFrank on February 17, 2007 at 4:18 am

It confirms my long held theory that Adam actually ate a hot chili, not an apple, to bring about the fall of man. He took a mighty bite then blasphemed in shock at its acerbic tang, causing God great repulsion.

The result of which was our original ancestors being cast out of paradise.

Chili is the devil's food, right along side licorice...

3. Ancient boy's skeleton sparks evolution debate

Comment #21351 by ArtlessFrank on February 8, 2007 at 9:42 pm

I was amazed at a recent conference I attended when a missionary got up and spoke about his work in Africa. He trumpeted with great zeal about how the Africans, particularly children who have been given food and shelter, are "just so passionate for God".

Well, it's not really surprising when you consider that these kids had nothing, then mysterious white men appeared out of nowhere and gave them food and shelter. "Why are you doing this?", the child will ask, to which the missionary will reply, "Jesus sent me, he told me to help you."
Of course these people, who have no education or experience outside of their own villages to speak of, will be "passionate for God", they want the food to keep coming!

Missionaries do good work over there in terms of giving kids a chance, but their methods raise serious concerns about the world view they implant into the coming generations of Africa. I don't think they are given the chance to take a rational point of view