Comments by Colwyn Abernathy

301. Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear

Comment #179580 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 12:13 pm

Indeed. A truth that is infallible, and therefore, beyond questioning and doubt. That's what I find MOST distasteful about dogma: an infatuation with and pride of ignorance.

It's like what Chris Rock says when he talks about the difference between black people and niggas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpUSElgJcyI
Starts at 2:58

"Nuttin make a nigga happier than NOT knowing the answer to your question."

What I find so funny is that you can replace the racial with the religious, and it'd STILL make sense.

302. Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear

Comment #179567 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 12:02 pm

riandouglas:

I thought the "our" was because the genesis accounts were cribed together from polytheistic myths. Hence the El, Elohim, council of gods etc.

Hmmm...I hadn't heard that before. Interesting. The trinity is an answer I get from Christians when I press them on it.

303. Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear

Comment #179559 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 11:54 am

Lucas:

Colwyn - The two creation accounts were written by two different people, or groups of people, at different times. (This is why we need more education in the history of religion.) That's why you get no answer from theists; as far as they're concerned, God wrote it.

See, I knew that because it's the most logical answer. As well as the "make him in OUR image". I get that the "our" means "the holy trinity" from them, citing yet ANOTHER alleged fulfullment of prophesy. But doesn't it make MORE sense that to make the idea of a single omnipotent being palatable to a largely pantheistic population, an author would use language that would be recognisable to them. After all, monotheistic faiths seem perfectly comfortable with assimilating pagan symbols into their rituals and practices, why not language?

EDIT:

IQHQ:

do you honestly believe that Brooke, a fellow biographer, would just casually attribute false perspectives to the great man, and what's more do so without a shred of proof?

Yes. He's human, with a religious bias (apparently) and so it's very possible he could make such a biased error. Without citation, I cannot take such a claim seriously either.

304. Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear

Comment #179321 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 5:48 am

The second creation account in Genesis (Gen. 2.4-3.end) gives more emphasis to the origin of the human race than does the first account.

ORLY? Says you...If the second has more emphasis...WHY ARE THERE TWO OF THEM?

I can never get a straight answer from theists on that.

305. Americans pray at the pump for cheaper petrol

Comment #179299 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 4:58 am

Dammit, I want my electric car! Chevy's promoting it's "Volt" concept, which is ironic considering GM's EV-1 line a few years ago. Where'd it go? Its test market in California RAVED about it, they even built the infrastructure for charging en route. But, with no option to buy leasing, shitty advertising, they eventually scrapped it, citing low interest in it. BULL! Everyone who had an EV-1 LOVED it! Course you wouldn't know that from the press. Tesla Motors...you're our only hope.

306. Americans pray at the pump for cheaper petrol

Comment #179297 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 13, 2008 at 4:52 am

Lord, give me cheap gas. POOF. A burrito appears.

Which would easily demonstrate the Lord's preference to the King's English. (Or is it the Queen's?) And also his non-omnipotence.

That made my morning...brllnt! :)

307. The Stupidity of Dignity

Comment #178983 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 10:43 am

Worst of all from this point of view are those more uncivilized forms of eating, like licking an ice cream cone--a catlike activity that has been made acceptable in informal America but that still offends those who know eating in public is offensive.

'Course, all I can think of is, "LOOKA THA TONGUE ON HER! WWWWOOOOOOWWW!'
-George Carlin

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking.

Oooohhh, Heaven knows! Anything goes!

SORRY! I was in that show, it's like a damn reflex.

308. The Stupidity of Dignity

Comment #178974 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 10:26 am

Yet, aside from two paragraphs in a commentary by Daniel Dennett, the volume contains no critical examination of any of its religious claims.

I am Jack's Complete and UTTER Lack of Surprise.

EDIT:

The years that would be added to other people's lives, he judged, were not worth living:

Yeah, Hugh Hefner's extended years are utter crap. Oh, how can a sinful sinner live SO LONG?!

309. The Stupidity of Dignity

Comment #178952 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 9:47 am

I still think I'd look awful dignified with a pair of bat wings...either bionic or engineered, I'm not picky. ;)

EDIT:

Although the Dignity report presents itself as a scholarly deliberation of universal moral concerns, it springs from a movement to impose a radical political agenda, fed by fervent religious impulses, onto American biomedicine.

I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise.

310. Lying for Jesus?

Comment #178947 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 9:42 am

Why they bother with this intelligent design stuff is anyone's guess.

My guess is that reality is just too damn scary, so they'll accept comforting fantasy. The rest of us grew up. I much prefer what is true, not what I want to be true. 'Course, I wasn't ALWAYS like that, but I grew up. ;)

311. Evolution: What is 'Natural'?

Comment #178944 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 9:35 am

This is our planet if we don't use our reasoning skills to overcome our Darwinian instincts to avoid this outcome.

Which, according to Chris Hedges...is "a leap of faith."

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20080511_render_unto_darwin_that_which_is_darwins/

'Course, his arguments don't prove religious "leaps" are helpful in any way other than reinforcing an irrational belief...but what do I know? ;)

312. My Response to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Comment #178937 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 9:10 am

"If you grow a little square mustash, expect to be reminded of hitler"

Which is so annoying as he stole the look off of Chaplin. I grew a mustache like that for a Chaplin costume one Halloween, most oft used comment?

"Damn, you SURE you didn't REALLY want to dress as Hitler?"

Considering Chaplin created The Tramp before WWI, WAY before Adolf swiped it, I'd say...I'm sure.

EDIT: "You know you look...an awful lot like him. ADOLF, I mean. You know, with the mustache. I think HE STOLE YOUR ACT!" -Kevin Kline, "Chaplin" ;)

313. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178928 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 8:34 am

Naug:

There are more motivations than religion to a persons actions. We as atheist should undoubtedly know this :>

Thanks for the reminder. I tend to forget this as well. Tho while religious motivations aren't the sole reasons, they are often prioritised as the most important.

EDIT: As evidenced by the reasoning behind the motivations of the father in the "My daughter deserved to die for falling in love" article. (Qader?)

314. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178918 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 8:21 am

Yes, I'm purposefully confusing you by being confused myself. ;) (Divided attention's a bitch, I tend to lose track)

EDIT: Apologies.

Without the respect religion garners by default, its foundations would crumble. This is the point Sam Harris continually makes. Individual believers aren't the problem, or the source. Islam would continue to garner believers as long as it remains unchallenged, even if all the current believers simply weren't. Some people would pick up the Koran and take it for what "former" believers take it for, and they would teach it to their children, and EDIT: the cycle would begin anew. :EDIT It gets harder to propagate as people learn more about the world. Education won't help those already ensnared, and those so ensnared seem adamant about their children "being corrupted" by "evil Western ideals". It teaches to fear and hate what it doesn't understand as opposed to attempting to understand what it fears.

315. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178902 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 8:04 am

Colwyn, I know you were speaking metaphorically and that you don't believe religion is an actual physical illness. Please, credit me with a little intelligence.

What don't you get about the analogy?

316. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178876 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 7:23 am

Can you have a religion without people?

Sure, we still look at the Greek pantheon as well as the Egyptian, and many others, which begs the question: "Why don't people believe in them? They're religions too."
And I think this mainly deals with a religion's palatability. (for lack of a better word) Take, for instance, Lucas's invention of the Jedi. It isn't a "real" religion like others, yet a notable portion of the UK population describe themselves as "Jedi". Why is this when none of them can manipulate "The Force" like the fictional Jedi can?

As for my use of "illness", I'm strictly speaking metaphorically. I don't think it's an ACTUAL disease caused by anything physical. Apologies for the confusion. I merely use it as an illustration.

317. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178853 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 6:37 am

I can imagine me saying that "the problem is not Jews but Judaism", since many Jews (so I understand) are basically atheist even though they still call themselves Jews (I know a few who celebrate christmas).

We tend to associate Judaism with a racial heritage, when there really isn't a genetic basis for such an attribute. (I think, I could be wrong.) It's clear that Islam is NOT racially based, yet they STILL want to claim criticism of it as racism like the Jews, like simple bigotry.

318. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178844 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 6:30 am

Please help me make some sense of this because I've heard it so often, even on this site, that I suspect I must be missing something.

I think you are missing the point. If there were no Muslims, but Islam still existed...people would become Muslims. The followers who are willing to do the unimaginable are symptoms of the "illness" of dogmatic thought. If we disempower the source, the symptoms will eventually dissipate, like with the KKK. Ridicule and criticism has completely disempowered them, so now they are relegated to gag material on sketch comedy shows. Where once they wielded considerable political power, now nobody takes them seriously. Sam Harris explains this much better than I in his book, "The End of Faith".

319. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178831 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 5:46 am

And by the way, is there someone who has something positive to say about 'the diversity of muslim cultures'?

It's doesn't yet have a stranglehold on the world?

320. 'My daughter deserved to die for falling in love'

Comment #178820 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 5:27 am

Sometimes I really wish there was a GOD, as I'm sure he'd take great pleasure in sending these fucktards to hell!!

Who's to say god wouldn't laud and praise him? You're assuming attributes of said assumed god would coincide with our Western beliefs of equality and human rights. It's equally probable that a fucktard god would praise a fucktard follower for following fucktard 'rules.' I could wish, but that wouldn't solve anything...kinda like praying. ;)

EDIT: And a loving god wouldn't take pleasure in torturing someone, regardless of how rotten he treats his fellow creations.

EDITEDIT: What riandouglas said. ;)

321. On Fitna, the Movie

Comment #178805 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 4:59 am

How dare he equate all of us as one and the same with the political Islamic movement? It made me quite angry actually.

Yet I don't hear a PEEP out of you when 8 young Muslim women burn to death because they aren't properly covered, or a father murders his own daughter for having a crush on an English soldier. Where's your anger THEN? Cut the self-righteous indignation. He dared because it's TRUE. You don't like being compared? Stand up and SAY something when the fundies "hijack your religion".

EDIT: While I agree that Fitna isn't a very good film in and of itself, I refuse to say it shouldn't have been made, for the same reason Catwoman "shouldn't have been made." Free speech for all...including supremicist douchebags.

322. 'My daughter deserved to die for falling in love'

Comment #178786 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 12, 2008 at 3:39 am

Jazzguitar:

I cannot imagine that he will not be haunted and even tortured by the memory of having done this. He may not realize what he's done right away, but I think when he does, he will likely end his own life.

This is exactly what Abdel-Qader means by Westerners finding this shocking. It's difficult for us to comprehend any of US doing this, at least not outside the heat of passion. The problem with this line of thinking is that we assume he KNOWS what he did is repellent when he full out believes he did the right thing...the ONLY thing. If you really think he'll be regretful of such a heinous act, then you don't understand the power of religion. He is ill, poisoned by bronze age dogma. Qader isn't the problem, he's a symptom. It's religion he's ill with. As John Pritzlaff commented, another vindication of Sam Harris. Now how many Western Muslims are going to raise their voices in outrage?

Next to NIL, Muslims never miss an opportunity...

...TO MISS AN OPPORTUNITY! :(

EDIT:

JohnPritzlaff:

Unfortunately, that is commonly seen as a rude thing to say, for some reason (more like unreason).

The reason is as thinkers and critics have described it: it's considered ignorant, bigoted, and racist to criticise religious beliefs. It is the ONLY belief/idea system that demands respect without earning it thru ridicule and critique. Every OTHER type of idea (political, social, scientific, etc) is allowed to be lambasted, and those that hold up under scrutiny are the ones that propagate. (democracy, human rights, etc) People identify themselves by their religious beliefs, and to attack the beliefs is akin to attacking the person, regardless how you word your argument.

323. Computer game's high score could earn the Nobel Prize in medicine

Comment #178400 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 10:59 am

Good point, mordacious. Tho Einstein DID wi..er, EARN the Nobel for his energy/matter transferrence (izzat right?) equation, right?

324. I Am Evolution

Comment #178396 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 10:55 am

I listen to evolution, I observe it and I do evolution.

And evolution never calls, and I bump into evolution at Starbucks and there's an awkward exchange of words that include "I meant to call you, but I've been busy, y'know, with evolving an shit."
"That's kewl," I say, sheepishly, and all the things I want to say to evolution are lost in my throat, never to be born, and I hope and pray that evolution WILL call, but evolution never does...evolution's a heartless bastard.

Wait...that's not what she meant, is it?

325. Computer game's high score could earn the Nobel Prize in medicine

Comment #178389 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 10:43 am

Well...the Nobel Prize is a bit much, but I LOVE the idea! I'd never heard of FOLDIT before. Purty kewl.

EDIT:

"Long-term, I'm hoping that we can get a significant fraction of the world's population engaged in solving critical problems in world health, and doing it collaboratively and successfully through the game," Baker said. "We're trying to use the brain power of people all around the world to advance biomedical research."

Thru gaming. A very novel approach. Spot on

326. 'My daughter deserved to die for falling in love'

Comment #178379 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 10:13 am

'I don't have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends.

YEAH! IT'S ALL about YOU, you self-righteous, backwards fucktard. She OBVIOUSLY hated you and only fell in love JUST TO SHAME YOU. I'm...I'm...so furious I...I don't want to say anything else that'll get me banned, I can't let my anger erode my rationality.

Oh...and a Happy Mother's Day from a Yank's son to all you Mamas out there. :)

EDIT:

Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.

And if they don't, you'll kill them...fucking barbarians.

327. Richard Dawkins interviewed by John Humphrys on Cardinal Murphy O'Connor

Comment #178343 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 9:21 am

Off topic, but it's current events at the moment:

I HAVE A SOCKPUPPET! ;)

http://www.youtube.com/user/ColAbernutty

First saw it on Pat Condell's "The Curse of Faith"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPG3-1gogXU&

328. Richard Dawkins interviewed by John Humphrys on Cardinal Murphy O'Connor

Comment #178316 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 7:29 am

Darwins Badger:

we're all individuals here.
I'm not.

(Sorry, couldn't resist it!) :)

Life of Brian...FTW!

"Now if we built a giant wooden badger..."

329. Richard Dawkins interviewed by John Humphrys on Cardinal Murphy O'Connor

Comment #178311 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 6:56 am

Dicanu:

Hey, we tried to be reasonable.

We were like "um, limeys, could you um, like, go away?".

And they were like "noe".

And we were like "please?".

And they were like "*bang* noe".

And we were like "okay, we tried *bang, bang, bang, bang*".

AHAHAHAHAHA...Oh...oh, the L337speek made me giggle, that was a good one. :D

EDIT: Star Spangled Eagle:

Founding Fathers: limey's please, stop ruling from afar, we'd like to self govern.

King George: just try, you'll die.

Founding Fathers: It's liberty or death pal.

Also, walking in a straight line wearing red targ...er coats didn't help 'em any either. "OI! No fair! Quit hidin' behind that rock, ya Yank! Get out her so I can shoot you with this highly inaccurate musket! And stand still!" ;)

330. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #178251 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 11, 2008 at 2:56 am

It's a threat without a direct threat, therefore, it is not a punishable offense.

Now, is that passively aggressive, or aggressively passive...wait. Is there a difference? ;)

EDIT: Border Collie:

"wanker" is a mighty big word for a Yank ... hope you didn't hurt yourself ...

HA HA HA! ...dislocation. (apologies to Stephen Colbert)

331. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #178170 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm

But you can see a cached version here.

I particularly like this headline:

PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO F*CKING PARK ON BRINK OF EXTINCTION

And this one:

CHILDREN TOLD TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE F*CK UP FOR 18 YEARS

Funneh sh*t. ;)

332. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #178157 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Sorry, Frankus1122 I counted your first post as someone who took it seriously. So that makes my count then 15 out of 57 thinking it was not satire, and I may be wrong on this, because it is subjective.

As a further clarification, I should note that my "reasoned" response was to point out the logical fallacies, and the "get a real job" gag, I got beaten to it. Curse you, International Dateline! ;)

EDIT:

And to the good Doctor:

Diacanu pwns teh Internets!!1!!

Seconded! He can has mah cheezburger, I'z not worthy. ;)

333. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #178156 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Is anyone bring dessert?

Anyone up for some cheesecake? Old family recipe. Or mayhap some fried ice-cream, considering the venue? ;)

334. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #178155 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Mark Twain: Go to heaven for the weather, hell for the society. (paraphrasing)

"Heaven for climate; hell for company." -The Adventures of Mark Twain. ;)

335. British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus

Comment #178148 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 3:34 pm

OI! I want mah cheezburger, pls. I promise I won't make any Hindus try any, even the cheese. Is that too much to ruddy ask?!

336. Scientists Know Better Than You--Even When They're Wrong

Comment #177997 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 7:37 am

Dick to the Dawk to the Ph,D. He's smarter than you, he's got a science degree!

Sorry, just reminded me of that parody rap.

"Your concerns are noted, AND stupid." ;)

EDIT:

Sure it's going to be tough for people like us to understand but people like Richard do a wonderful job of explaining science to the lay person. Surely someone can bring down theology to a level we can understand?

And let's not forget Carl Sagan as well. :)

337. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #177988 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 6:54 am

The leader of Roman Catholics in England and Wales stressed that a 'hidden God' was active in everyone's life, often nipping to the shops for them or wiping down their kitchen surfaces.

Wait...isn't he talking about Brownies, here? Or Domovoi? God's a personal assistant? Pull the other one.

EDIT:

He added: "We must not allow Britain to become devoid of religious faith, otherwise how will I afford new hats?"

OO OO! How about gettin' a REAL job?

338. Atheists are nice people who will roast in hell, says Cardinal

Comment #177987 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 6:49 am

ATHEISTS and agnostics are decent people whose tormented souls will burn for all eternity in the scorching fires of hell, Britain's biggest catholic said last night.

Assumption: souls exist in the first place to be sent to an imaginary place of torment.

EDIT:

Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor said non-believers should be respected, right up to the point of death when they will finally come face to face with Satan and his blood-soaked pitchfork.

He doesn't realise the popular image of "Satan" is a mishmash bastardisation of older, pagan gods like Cernunnos, does he? And that Satan is largely a creation of Dark Age mysticism and fear. I don't think he's mentioned in the OT at all, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

339. Faith in Britain today

Comment #177966 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 4:39 am

I mean, I know he's not every woman's idea of a dream date, but on a dark night with the light behind him...

"I am the terror...that flaps in the night..."

EDIT: Bonus geek points for finishing it. ;)

And easily troubling enough that the guy wasn't "the greatest man ever to live".

That honor of course, goes to Norman Borlaug.

SECONDED! If it weren't for P&T, I wouldn't know who the hell he is, or the incredible work he's done for our species, especially for those who're a different colour than him. And Stein says science leads to killing people...

Also what is it about Americans and ancestor worship.

We're...turning Japanese? I really think so. ;)

340. Faith in Britain today

Comment #177965 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 4:34 am

Well, except for his shagging of a woman he literally owned as property, but hey....;)

"Greatness" isn't the same as "Perfect". But then, I got the image of red haired mulattos running around from that comment...and that made me giggle. Lincoln was racist too, but I digress. ;)

341. Faith in Britain today

Comment #177957 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 4:09 am

'Athiests,(sic) it's not you, it's us, please come home, we've been complacent, we know, but honestly, we can change, and this time we really mean it.'

Highly reminiscent of the Vatican's "Catholics Come Home" ad campaign.

http://www.catholicscomehome.org/

How this got an "org", oh right, religion...when it's clearly a re-recruitment campaign...

342. Faith in Britain today

Comment #177952 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 10, 2008 at 3:51 am

No one generates their own faith: it always comes to us through the goodness, example and insight of others: that is the meaning of tradition and the roots of this tradition lie in the goodness, example and insight of our Lord Jesus, God's Word made flesh, the Jewish tradition on which he draws and the Christian tradition which he creates by his risen presence.

This reminds me of what Bill Hicks once said, and I'm paraphrasing, "You do know that all those men, who started all tradition? All of 'em....are fucking dead. Isn't it time to start a NEW world, one of our own choosing? One we want?"

At the simplest level, this is what it means to be Catholic, to belong to a living community of faith that extends across the centuries and will extend until the end of time.

Or the end of species. Or the end of our Sun's life. Or the end of superstition. Or the end of faith holding sway over political power. You know, whichever comes first...any of those are far more likely than the end of the time...oh the arrogance...

343. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176880 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 8:27 am

I really thought he should have just spoken gobly gook when they told him to speak in tongues. But the song was hilarious.

Actually, I thought his Russian "tongues" was far more poetic and ironic, considering that prolly NONE of them had heard a Cyrillic language in their lives. Irony: he's speaking an ACTUAL language when it's not supposed to mean anything. Delicious. :)

344. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176879 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 8:20 am

You think child preachers are scary....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zxCqa-4DlE

The Baby Preacher...

345. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176856 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 7:20 am

"In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, I cast out the demon of the intellect!" Fortenberry continued. "In the name of Jesus, I cast out the demon of anal fissures!"

You're shitting me...PLEASE! How the hell do you juxtapose INTELLECT with ANAL FISSURES? This is my biggest beef with my fellow countrymen, they exhalt ignorance. The adore NOT knowing things, relying on the stock "goddidit", and this is truly saddening and scary. Tho I can just see the satire now: "Fundies Gone Wild!".

346. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176846 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 6:52 am

Fortenberry then started in on a rant against science and against scientific explanations for cycles of sin. "Take homosexuals," he said. "Every single homosexual is a sexual-abuse victim. They are not born. They are created -- by pedophiles."

Fuck you, Fortenberry. Seriously. Not only do I have family (not ONCE abused) who are gay, but I've worked with gay casts. NONE of them spoke of being sexually abused. One even talked to me about his belief that since he had always been gay, God MUST have made him that way, and god loves all his creations as they are, since he made them, right? Rationalise THAT, you homophobic fuckers!

EDIT:

When they're away from the cameras, the preachers feel even less obligated to shackle themselves to facts of any kind. That's because they know that their audience doesn't give a shit. So long as you're telling them what they want to hear, there's no danger; your crowd will angrily dismiss any alternative explanations anyway as demonic subversion.

And this is what makes cultish brainwashing so infuriating...and dangerous.

347. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176840 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 6:40 am

The wound, it turned out, was something that was inflicted upon us because of a curse, a curse that perhaps spanned generations in each of our families.

Secular psycho-gook with a HINT of Shintoism. You must restore your family's HONOUR! ;)

348. An Atheist Goes Undercover to Join the Flock of Mad Pastor John Hagee

Comment #176831 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 8, 2008 at 6:22 am

"Hello," I said, taking a deep breath. "My name is Matt. My father was an alcoholic circus clown who used to beat me with his oversize shoes."

Oh, I could SO sell that, a real test of the actor's mettle.

349. Research Volunteers Needed

Comment #176480 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 7, 2008 at 12:48 pm

You need to enable cookies.

"Cookies?! What would I do with cookies?"
"Ya EAT 'EM silly mustache man! Whoah, dumber than advertised."
-Albert Einstein & Dot Warner, Animaniacs "Cookies for Einstein"

I cannae resist! ;)

350. Research Volunteers Needed

Comment #176474 by Colwyn Abernathy on May 7, 2008 at 12:28 pm

OO! Just thought of a good question after completing them:

"Democracy is an American idea."
-OR-

"Democracy is originally an American idea."

I'd be interested to know how many people believe that to be true.