Vicar condemns hotel after it replaces Gideon Bible with 50 Shades of Grey


Mr Bartholomew, who runs the 40 bedroom Damson Dene Hotel, Crosthwaite, has placed the erotic best seller on the bedside cabinets of both male and female guests.

A copy of the Gideon Bible will be retained for those who want it – but they will have to request it at the reception desk.

His argument is that the Bible is also full of references to sex and violence and that the best seller is a much easier read.

But local vicar The Rev Michael Woodcock has accused the hotel boss of cashing in on the EL James novel’s runaway success. He said: “It is just a gimmick really.

“It is a shame that the Bible has been taken out.

“But I am sure it will be put back in the future. The more attention that is drawn to this the more bad publicity it gets.”

He hit back at suggestions that the Bible contained as many sexual references as Fifty Shades of Grey.

“You can choose bits out of the Bible and take it out of context I suppose,” he continued.

Written By: Telegraph
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      The Rev Michael Woodcock – “You can choose bits out of the Bible and take it out of context I suppose,” he continued.

    Spoken like an experienced expert!

  2. There’s not much worth reading if you choose to to take  all the depravity out of context.

    My favourite is:-  They erected a tent upon the roof of the house and Absalom went into his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

  3. Out of context? And what exactly would the context of Genesis 19: 30 -38 be:

    30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.37 And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.38 And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

    Get your Dad pissed, but not so much that his dick stays limp, then get him to shag you so you both end up pregnant…. Yeah, real tale of morality that one…


  4. He (the Vicar) hit back at suggestions that the Bible contained as many sexual references as Fifty Shades of Grey.
    “You can choose bits out of the Bible and take it out of context I suppose,” he continued.

    Imagine taking selected bits of the bible out of context.  “I am shocked….shocked to find gambling going on in here”

  5. Sigh, I guess I’ll have to read 50 Shades of Grey to see what’s all the fuss about though I get the impression I will not find it worthy of such effort.

  6. Just look for reviews online – they’ll tell you what it’s about but spare you the terrible writing.

  7. I haven’t read it either, but I think I’m safe in assuming it has less sex and S&M than the bible.

  8. Yes, and in Genesis 19:8, Lot offered his two daughters to be gang-raped by the men of Sodom. Just to protect his guests. Women as we all know are not individuals, but cattle which we unfortunately depend on, otherwise we would have all killed them off by now.

    Genesis is full of a great moral stories for the kids. And you can throw in some Deuteronomy stories to even spice it up more. 

    You just feel the love when you read these books. I did it once when I was 13 to see what it was all about, but good grief, what a waste of time. The Hobbit and the LOTR for example are much better works and nice at that age.

  9. And, there is that repulsive tale in Judges 19 where the concubine gets offered (very similar to the Lot and Sodom tale) , she gets raped all night and then cut into 12 pieces.

    Whatever the context of that, the actual story is grim. There is no way you would want a young child reading and then asking about that. Stuff of nightmares.

    But as you point out, it reveals the role of women – just assets, items, goods whatever.

    But onto better books: I read Alan Warners “Weirdstone of Brisingamen” whren I was at school. Excellent tale that one, in the style of the Hobbit. Recommended!! (as they say on Ebay)  :-)))


  10. Taking parts of the Bible out of context is precisely what the religious have been doing for centuries. Anyone who has read the whole thing will know that the proportion of it that actually contains anything of value is minuscule.

  11. It’s not really been taken out, has it? They’re at reception. Still, at least the guy wasn’t foaming at the mouth about it as his equivalent would be in the US. “It’s persecution! Genocide! The hotel owner is seventeen Hitlers and thirty-four Stalins!”, etc

    It would be very surprising if there’s not more violence in the bible than in 50sog. I notice the comments thus far have focused on the sex side (funnier, I guess 🙂 )

  12. What is it about hotels stocking books about rape, misogyny, abuse and terrible prose?
    Could he not have stocked some orwell or prattchet or any other number of good authors/books?

  13.  ” Vicar condemns hotel “

    I bet he really would if they had 1/10 the power they used to have!

  14. “The Bible remains a source of comfort and inspiration that many people do
    find helpful.”

    Well, who’s to say this 50 shades book won’t be just that.

    Had to laugh at the choice of book though.  Clearly “The God Delusion” hasn’t got enough juicy bits to compete with the Bible.  Prof Dawkins, any chance of collaborating with E.L. James on a spiced-up next edition? 

  15. Why is there an assumption that there should be a bible in a hotel? Why not a dictionary? Why not the current best seller? Most people who bother to read a bible already have one. If not they are very easy to get without being stocked on every nightstand in every hotel or motel.

    This is just silly.

  16. The Gideon Society only started placing bibles into hotels and motels when someone thought it was a bright idea to get the word out to at least the traveling community.  

    UPDATED: I found this little bit: Founded in 1809 in New York, the International Bible Society is one of the leading publishers of ethnic scriptures, publishing Bibles in more than 350 languages (the 1810 Bengali translation is still in use in India). The IBS provided Bibles to Civil War soldiers, and, according to communications coordinator Stephanie Nelson, started putting Bibles in hotels in 1823 — more than 75 years before the Gideons started their ministry.

  17. It won’t be much longer till you find an ebook reader in the drawer. The only reason Gideon’s is there is the motel owner gets it free.  In Salt Lake City you find Book of Mormons.

  18. I would be delighted if they put a dictionary of whatever the local language is in all hotel rooms.

  19. I shouldn’t waste your time. The Bible is a far more entertaining read. The 50 Shades of Grey is boring as, between the erotic bits and even the erotic bits get boring by book three. The eroticism doesn’t even get going until chapter eight in book one.

    Think ‘Mills & Boon’ with a splashing of BDSM. Repetition, repetition, repetition.

    The numerous colloquial parody’s are much more fun…at least the Northern Irish version, ’50 Shades of Red, White & Blue’ is, and the snippets of other versions I’ve seen. Maggie Muff and featuring Tommy Dick Fingers. Hilarious.

    My advice…get a parody version and give yerself a titter…..or read the Bible and give yerself a titter.

    For a parody near you…..… 

  20. The writing is awful. The plot (very) predictable. Dept of characters almost non-existent, despite attempts to fill that particular void. Only the issue: surrender (by a successful woman!) which doesnt happen anyway (oops — I gave the plot away) is worthwhile.

  21. And least the vicar doesn’t proclaim fatwas or issue death threats and that smells like fresh air isn’t it?

  22. “The Bible is a classic, shaped and reshaped by Jewish and Christian communities over many centuries.” 
    Isn’t the fact that it’s been “reshaped” part of the problem?

  23. Potent man, isn’t he…Lot…? Takes only two nights to get two women pregnant. Things have changed over the years I guess.
    B.t.w. I think the moral of this story is that you can’t trust women.. They should all be leached, or we (the poor defenseless men) will all be victimized by these dangerous creatures. Well, that one worked out just fine the last 3000 years hasn’t it?

  24. How about all the rules on how to treat your slaves? Most people stop at the tenth commandment but actually there are lots more. Just read on and be shocked again.

  25. I would be interested to know the statistics of how many people actually open a copy of the Holey Babble when staying in an hotel room.

  26.   Isn’t the fact that it’s been “reshaped” part of the problem?


    Indeed it has had a great deal of reshaping and mis-translation – even before it is reinterpreted through present-day theist-rosy-specs!

    I commented on this on an earlier discussion here –… – Poor old Henry VIII suffered from my rubbish typing, in addition to much abuse from the Vatican!

    I suppose you could quote the “The Wicked Bible” –… – The name is derived from the compositors’ mistake: in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:14) the word not in the sentence “Thou shalt not commit adultery” was omitted, thus changing the sentence into “Thou shalt commit adultery”. This blunder was spread in a number of copies. About a year later, the publishers of the Wicked Bible were fined £300

  27. Last time I saw one actually being used, it was holding a window open to let some fresh air in….

  28. I always open it to read my favorite bible story – the wedding at Cana.    It turns out that the first time JC used his magical powers, it was to get drunk with his boys.   And even then he only did it because his Mother wouldn’t leave him alone.     See John 2:1-11.

  29. My widely travelled friends and I love finding a Gideon’s bible in a hotel room. Every weekend I boil up about 80 kg of potatoes to keep my pigs going through the week and I find them perfect to get that intense initial heat that gets the fire going nicely. I opened one once from curiosity but it was a seriously gross bit where some poor bastard didn’t sacrifice in quite the right way so his loving god smote him with some hideous disease … charming.  Oh no, hang on, that’s the bit I read when I looked through a copy at the tip shop.

  30. It has had positive reviews, of a sort. This writer suggests that a lot of the objection is not really to the writing quality, etc, more that women should have the audacity to want to read porn.

  31. Firstly i would congratulate the hotel owner for the brilliant marketing stunt and what a great way of bringing publicity to his hotel.  As far as fifty shades of shite is concerned i expect that the claims of filthy porn are overblown pun intended but as for the vicar saying that any sex and violence in the bible is taken out of context thats exactly what the religious do with the bible over countless centuries. That the giddy bible is still available in hotels in the 21st century is total nonsense.

  32. Well, actually, i’m quite fond of them. I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them. Just imagine if there would have been only men.

  33. If M. Bartholomew had placed a copy of The God Delusion alongside the bible, this would have been an interesting story. 

  34. The Qur’an tells that story differently IIRC. The townspeople were upset that Lot was improperly harbouring strangers inside the walled town, Lot’s alleged male angel guests.  They asked them to come forward so they “might know them” — check them out, not rape them.  This may be just a problem with the two meanings of “to know” in English.

  35. There is no violence between the leading persons in that book. It s all about informed consent. Not about baptising infants.

  36. Is to condemn anything like help promote the hell out of? Because I think he’s doing it the wrong way.

  37. No.

    No more than Mussolini smelled of fresh air because he didn’t put up extermination camps like Hitler.

  38. Or Aarons sons, the two sad bastards that got smote for burning the wrong flavour of incense for the occasion…

    10:1 And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not.10:2 And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.

  39.  With the amount of spare time I have, reading a book has to serve multiple purposes, entertaining and educational are the 2 that I gravitate towards; if not educational, fiction that is at least thought provoking (The Neanderthal Parallax comes to mind.)

  40. “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” — Ezekiel 23:20.

    Now that’s good writing! Shame such a good, wholesome family-fun book has been removed. But oh well, you can pick and choose till your nose bleeds from picking it too much and cry till your tears become semen, but at the end of the day, a Bible with a gun-shaped hole cut into the pages is an empty book.

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