Is finding the truth worth potentially breaking the hearts of those close to me?

Nov 19, 2012

Discussion by: western84
I am an LDS medical student in my late twenties and for the past few years I have been doubting the beliefs that I have held for most of my life. I want to know the truth about the existence of a deity, but even if I did know that my current beliefs were wrong, I wonder if I would have the courage to leave them behind. I have lived for nearly thirty years engulfed in this “Mormon” culture and it has been very good to me. It makes me and most of my other mormon family and friends happy. Even if it is false, is it really hurting me to live by it? I guess if I’m honest with myself, I am afraid to leave behind the culture that I am so used to and I’m not sure if I would be comfortable without it. More importantly, if it is not true, is it worth breaking my mother’s heart by leaving it behind? Two of my sisters are not practicing any religion and although we all remain very close, I know how badly my parents want all of us to know what they “know to be true” and live by it.
I’m not much of a writer, and I’ve thought about this so much that I couldn’t possibly put it all into words, especially on paper. But please, I would be interested to know your thoughts.

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