Mayan prophecies: Life after the (non) end of the world


Despite all the predictions of Mayan apocalypse, the world will probably not end by Saturday morning. How will the believers cope when life carries on?

The clock strikes midnight, the hallowed date arrives and, once again, the apocalypse fails to turn up on schedule.

For such a cataclysmic event, the projected end of the world has come around with surprising regularity throughout history.

Each time a group of believers has been left bewildered at the absence of all-consuming death and devastation.

If they’ve taken the warnings seriously enough, they will have sold their homes, abandoned earthly civilisation’s material trappings and braced themselves for the arrival of a new era.

The latest date to herald widespread alarm is 21 December, which marks the conclusion of the 5,125-year “Long Count” Mayan calendar.

Around the world, precautions are being taken.

Panic-buying of candles has been reported in China’s Sichuan province. In Russia, where sales of tinned goods and matches have surged, Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev has urged his countryfolk to remain calm.

Written By: Jon Kelly
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  1. End of the world……..” Panic-buying of candles has been reported in China’s Sichuan(sp?) province.
    In Russia, where sales of tinned goods and matches have surged “

    Non sequitur, but good for somebodies business!

  2. after this , i guess the next date that could cause panic about the apocalypse is 2060 as predicted by Sir Isaac Newton from his research on the Bible. 

  3. At Tenterfeild in NSW  (Australia)  there where people hiding in shipping containers in the hills (what protection this was meant to offer I don’t know).  I’d be feeling rather sheepish about now.

  4. Looks like the Mayan one was finally true. Everything is pretty much toast. I don’t even see any roaches. The End.

  5. This is presuming they don’t buy new Nikes.

    I’m curious how many will never have to face being wrong. Then there are the portion of believers that died of accident or disease on that day, which is pretty epic for them.

    It was only recently confirmed to be a scrap of political propaganda, similar in motif to the “1000 Year Reich”. The Gods Must Be Crazy, John Frum in reverse.

  6. I saw a nutjob stood in the field on the way to work holding a sign saying ‘End of the World Tonight’ on it. I didn’t take any notice – it was only Farmer Geddon.

  7. From WikipediA:  He estimated that the world would end no earlier than 2060. In predicting this he said “This I mention not to assert when the time of the end shall be, but to put a stop to the rash conjectures of fanciful men who are frequently predicting the time of the end, and by doing so bring the sacred prophesies into discredit as often as their predictions fail.”
    He put the date far enough in the future. He probably thought that by then reason would prevail. Maybe it was a good guess, but I don’t hold my breath…

  8.  This behaviour isn’t restricted to religion or prophesies. I’ve seen businesses dump tons of money into the wrong advertising agency only to end up with the wrong branding and horribly designed website with poor functionality. Instead of just dumping it and starting over, they forge ahead. Their excuses are always the same—”we’ve invested too much for too long”.

    Problem is, they are now going to promote that crappy $20,000 brand and crappy $30,000 website with a $500,000 advertising campaign. Talk about investing too much. They have a chance to save it all by coming to us but they just can’t bring themselves to dump $50,000 of work. They rather burn another half mil than do it again.

    Usually these things come about by committees who don’t know what they are doing. Either they drive the project with their idea of what is good or they just don’t know how to pick an agency. Usually cheap is the key factor. It’s all such a waste. What is funny is the fact that they all seem to be familiar with the camel, horse and committees argument but they are all convinced that their bunch managed a horse despite it.

    It’s hard to turn that ship around. The captain honestly thinks he can sail right through the rocks. Pity. If only they dropped the transit advertising, which they don’t need, and let a good shop do it all in a few weeks, instead of the 6 months it took them to direct the last agency, they’d miss those rocks. Instead, they drown.

  9. End of the world cults remind me of a song from the cut scene in Life of Brian, involving Otto and his fickle suicide squad:

    “There’s a man we call our leader
    He’s kind and strong and brave
    And we follow him unquestioning
    Towards an early grave
    Though he leads us all to sacrifice
    And a chance to die in vain
    And if we’re one of the lucky ones
    We’ll live to die again!”

  10. Imagine the possibility that death is something you’re not aware of. Right at the moment of your corporal destruction, you instantaneously migrate to a parallel universe, a replica of the one you lived in before, where you keep on living as if nothing happened.

    How would it make you feel, taking into account the fact that you cannot really prove this theory to be untrue? Isn’t that how religion exploits this argument in order to maintain their foothold in people’s mind, when they say that you can never prove that god does not exist?

  11. While I was doing some classic last-minute Christmas shopping this morning, I did wonder if the world had indeed ended after all. I was definitely in some kind of Hell.

    A couple of people told me today about friends of theirs who had genuinely been concerned yesterday. One even asked if it was right to send her child to school.

    This was in Norwich. The least religious city of one of the least religious countries in the the world.

    Sometimes I think it might not be a bad idea to wipe out this planet.

  12. You see all these people are just misunderstanding the words!

    Flat Earthists have known for centuries, that you could fall off the ends of the World!

  13. I was more worried about having to spend Christmas with the extended family than the world ending. Thank goodness the food turned out right and I’ve dodged all uncomfortable situations. I survived!

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