Isn’t it ironic how what your parents and you have worked for since your childhood suddenly looses most of its meaning because you realize that in reality you do not fit or that you fit better elsewhere? I find it really funny how I feel so much more free to think and be myself here than elsewhere. I am currently getting an MBA in France. Being atheist in the US, particularly in the south where I find myself, feels constricting and it hurts sometimes. I know that there I am free to believe whatever I want, but culturally I am an outcast. I see that religion is becoming more and more prevalent and strong within politics and government as the months go by and I get the sinking feeling that I will have to hide what I am so that I am not rejected.
For example, I have a necklace that states that I am atheist and I wear it a lot in the US as a form of a challenge to the norm, but here I have not felt the need to wear it. I feel like in the US I am on the outside, but here I am normal. How is it possible to feel like such and outcast in a country that is so free…does that even make any sense?? I feel there is so much judgement and that so much is dependent on religion in the US that I feel as if one day I will see a goal that will be unattainable due to religion. People think that I choose not to believe which is a statement that makes me want to punch them in the face.
The fact is that I do not believe because I am a logical person and in MY eyes there is no evidence for it. I feel that my life overall would be easier if I could put all my trust into an all knowing and all powerful being, but honestly, to me that has not meaning. I find all that I need within myself. If one day I was to find myself completely alone, I would be ok with it because I rely on myself. THAT is it. I live my life with confidence in what I do and in myself and I HATE so much when people pity me because I do not believe. I do not pity myself which means that you should not either. I AM happy and I have nothing to prove.
Overall, the summary of this blog is that I feel a part of the crow here because no one cares what I believe or not. Ultimately it is not important. I do not have to justify myself here and I am not strange…there are so many others like me…..Here I am normal….I am not an outcast…..I LOVE IT!!!!!!! To those who judge me, I say …….SCREW YOU because I am happy.