I have struggled with the tenets of religion my entire life. My mother sent my brother and me off to church on Sundays (Lutheran). I visited several other churches in my search for a good church home. In high school, I joined the Baptist church. After meeting my husband (he’s Catholic), I decided to convert to Catholicism.
Anytime that religion became the topic in gatherings of friends, I would ask the question, “Why would God allow a child to be abused sexually by her father?” I received various answers (none that made any sense) like, “You are a better person because of the abuse so how can you say it was an entirely bad thing?”, “Men have free will so it was your father’s free will to choose to do bad things that caused the abuse and God had nothing to do with it.” I would always ask about prayer and why if so many in the Catholic church pray for child abuse to stop..why hasn’t it stopped? People would say, “Not ours but God’s will be done.” I would answer with, “Then why pray? If it’s God’s will anyway, why bother?”
I was just searching for the right answers. My son was doing a research paper on Sir Isaac Newton and religion/lack of for scientists. I was helping him research at the library when he came across the book, “The God Delusion.” We checked it out, I read it and have not been the same since. I realize now how stupid it is to believe everything I believed for so long. I know now I was a mere robot just hearing what I was told and never questioning anything. Thank you for changing that. I no longer blame God and a lot of my anger is gone.