Should I call myself new athiest convert?
As you can see in my subject starts with question mark.
Any how here is my story. My history starts back to my child hood school Northern Ethiopia, Tigray. , when I was a kid my elder latebrother who was basket ball player was playing rotating basket ball in his fingers and amusingly, I told my motherthat he is rotating the ball like earth, that was a very strange remark from 3 years old kid. It was a talk of the neighborhood in our family they still talk about it.
“Betekihnet” Elementary School, (BeteKihnet= School of Priest Hood, But other werealso offered). I was grade 4 elementarystudent, one of my course as a kid was National and second language Amharic and I had a teacher inAmharic and science whom I like very much, Teacher Yihdego.
We had an old man, age may be in his late forty he teaches Morality as same time he seat as a student with us for science and language courses, a big age gap for him to seat with us. In his Christian Morality class he always teaches us do and do not do s. As a kid every thing was restrictive to me which I do not like teacher Mergeta. Mergeta he had always a stick hit every student head when they perform bad. I do not remember being hit but I remember never enjoying the class. I even hate that guy.
One day teacher Yihdegoin hisAmharic session gave us question words, nouns and pronounsto exercise constructing statements in Amharic. One of hisquestion were to construct Priest (. Why he asked that question I do not know until this day. I di not get a chance to ask him up to today, hope he is alive and will ask him.
Any ways many students answered, I want be a priest etc, thestatement I constructed was different it says, From today onwards we do not need a priest. ( keengedih wedih qeise ayasefeligeneem) that was not even a statement which give a sense but now I understand it was a strong feeling and dissatisfaction about Mergeta, probably I hated him too much. Teacher Yihdego gave me a right mark and I remember he was laughing and asked me to read it laud in front of class which I did and I think Mergeta was offended. The next day I think Mergeta told my parents which there was a little laughs at home.
I was bright high school student I passed to go University. I joined university of Agriculture which was not my interest. I was pushed there because My father thought that is safe place ( during that time there was civil war in Ethiopia) With no explanation I was lonely young man I join a group if there is soccer game to watch on TV which I like very much or movies. Every one goes to church Muslims go to mosque never joined any one of them, they ask are you Pente (short name protestant in Ethiopia) I say no. In short I was an odd fit in my four years stay at university. I had a lots of un answered questions in my head. In many instances I ask questions why did God created Satan and likealways with usual answers. I never had the strength to say there is no God though.
In high school and later in University I learned about theory of Genetics and geneticsegregation very interesting but with no depth.
Work life! same to school life I was an odd fit. At one point I start going to Protestant church convinced Chemistry teacher in Ambo college. It was boring and shocking experience all thecrying shouting, ululations’ it is just crazy, people faint out fall down. My mentors explanation to the situation was that it is Gods work and Satan is struggling not get out of them and he was defeated and got out from the possessed.I did not buy it but I do not have explanation to what it is too so I have to keep quite. Slowly I distanced my self from the Church. I became the usual lonely guy. Go watch sportsoccer, orswimming.
Short term course to Israel. In Israel was a life changing experience even though I do know that they are not Christians, solidly I found out all the Jewishdo not take their religion seriously. Out of curiosity as I always do ask strange questions to children and young people if they believe in God, And ask same questiona youngboy may be 12 years old in southern Israel where we went visiting Kibbutz, he said out right NO he do not believe, I ask him why do not you believe he replied what does he did for me and believe him? that was a very powerful and honest answer from that 12 years old kid. No further question I say bye and left. I visited all the wilderness and miracle places with lots of interesting places of war and burials all the Caravans that was really interesting.
I met German GTZ Volunteer in Ambo, Ethiopia,we were drinking beer and I ask him sudden question if he believes in God, said no why should I was the answer in German accent. I further asked him would he tear down Bible with out being afraid of that he will be punished by God, he said laughing I will burn it for you. I was timid no laughingI think he was feeling I am a screwed up guy because conversation was not going any where just question and answers with no excitement from me.
In Ethiopia Civil war ended one of my brother did not come back the other one came back and still alive. One day we were talking about lots of things and I found out that he does not believe in God at all that built a lot of confidence in me.
There was a news in Ethiopia, people went riot againstsome westerners who told their neighbors honestly that they do not believe in God and every one was shouting at them, calling them devils and they were forced to go out the country. Aftermath of the riot I went to the neighborhood I ask a lot of questions to young elderly in the hood, which was sadly pile of lies with no fact, they tell they drink human blood, if you ask them do you see that? my friend told me that, where is your friend you ask that friend and you find out he heard from his friend , it goes in chain, some people picture out Satan and tell they have seen that where is it now the and why I do not see him may be he is gone were some of the answers.
Arat killo Addis Ababa, St Marry Church a priest told gathering St marry is coming down and people were waiting to see, I was there people I can see her pointing hands to the sky. There was a guy in my side I ask him why I do not see any thing he answered may be you are a sinner it was brutal judgment he just did not give any point to my honesty and he just judged me with his brutal deceiving lie.
I traveled to India where I found thousands of Gods. No Further questions.
Traveled to USA and I am still living in United States. Funny experiences I turned on TV suddenly it was Murdock speaking to his audience send 1000 Dollar seed to be planted for glory of God. I am an agriculture student and Money be seed and grow in a spirit and come back ten times bounty. That was easy farming and I was laughing. I was going to many local churches In USA , home church meetings where you tell your personal experience. You close your eyes and tell them what you experienced. I know I was making up telling them to stay in the group what they were telling I do not know.
Visit to Waco Dravidian cult place, Uhh how dangerous it can be, if people are brain washed, you can see it there.The 9/11 attack brain washed bastards.
Bill Maher show enforced my stand. I watched most of his shows. I seen Religilous( The Spanish Jesus was the most hilarious interview). Bill Maher introduced me to many Atheists including you Richard Dawkins.
In the course of my life up to now I was reading.I found out that science do not talk with arrogance and certainty itgives you an idea and clues and it is up to you to dig it in.All religions and doctrines including Communism they tell you with certainty, with strong words it will be this and that, you have to do this and that, if you do not do this you will be punished etc etc, no freedom of thinking and speaking. It is all boring to listen and read dogmatic self assured thoughts.
So now I think I was an atheist since child hood but did not have the strength to say it. I was afraid of social segregations which I am a victim now. And I think every one is born none believer and should die as it is with freedom and dignity.
Am I an disciple atheism? No. Do I believe in science mostly yes. Do I believe in God I do not know. Who am I?
Iknow I was born in Adwa, Tigray, Northern Ethiopia. I remember my mother was very hard working, strict and loving. My father was a free spirited cares nothing about the rules inreligion but he goes to church every Sunday. I grew up family of 12 big family. I know I am living life learning every day is a new day.
Mulubrhan D Gebreselassie