I am so happy to found this site.
I did not about God before I was 6 years old.
From this age and 14 I went to see my grandmother living in the moutains. It wasn’t by choice, I was forced to do because it was for my “own good”. She was a young creationist ideology. She used to beat me because Jesus said so, I am 33 and still wondering why I have done wrong. I was forced to believe in god, it’s pretty easy to do this to a child who doesn’t really know what happening in the world around. I remember a discussion when it was said that athesists were evil.
one day she grabbed me by the arm violently shouting that she has to know what I am saying in my prayers when I did this she critized everything. She took away all my science books (even those that did not talk about science) saying thay were satanic, I was only allowed to read the bible. I remember I was 9, I was hiding in my cover to read the little prince.
For years I believed in god and felt abandonned because I have never felt his existence or he did not saved me from abuse. It was even the contrary, I was abused for religious reasons, I started to hate god at an early age.
I became atheist when I was 30. The year before I studied archaeology and physics at university. Previously I studied evolution and zoology. I read the blind watchmaker and the selfish gene. I started to have doubt about god because nothing from the evidences found on the ground could make the bible true.
It did not take long to understand that god doesn’t exist. The bible is just someone who wrote it a long time ago then the fanatics brainwasher did the rest.
All these experience sent me in psychotherapy two times in my life.