Converts, Wed, Jan 30 2013 #(606)

Jan 30, 2013

Hi there

I read the God Delusion quite some time ago, about two weeks after it was released in the UK. I read the book as someone who had been forced to live as a “Catholic child” for 20 years, at the hands of extreme fundamentalist believers. After my escape (literally) from Catholicism, I spent a while calling myself “agnostic”, after which I decided to explore Paganism (particularly Wicca), which I found no peace or satisfaction in.

I'm now at a point where I have to decide – do I “come out” and actually state that I don't believe in a god as such, or do I cling to what I know is a vain hope that god (and therefore many other fairytale creatures) might exist? As “atheism” seems not to be disbelief in a specific god so much as lack of belief in any god at all until evidence is provided to the contrary, I think I can accept that as what I am. But I feel that telling my Catholic fiance' and our two sets of Catholic parents might prove to be too much for me, especially as I've just been discharged from a stay in psychiatric hospital (I have cyclothymia; it's nothing sinister, but definitely related to my upbringing). Perhaps I'll have to stay “in the closet” a bit longer.

Although I have much to read, learn and consider, I feel that finally I am at least beginning to come to grips with the cold, hard truth of the universe and its makeup, and I'd far rather have the truth than a lie. My heartfelt thanks to Richard Dawkins and all the website contributors for their fantastic work.

Jennifer Fairgrieve

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