I was what many would call a “Christian Child”, but I would not have agreed if I had any capacity to argue otherwise. I was indoctrinated from the second I was able to understand the English language.
My parents always told me that all the things in the bible were true, that I should know that god loves me, etc. At age 5 or so I began to ask questions that would in turn get me in trouble with my parents. Some questions that I had asked were: If God had spilt the Red Sea, caused plagues, spoke to Moses, and basically intervened in humankind's life, why is it that God no longer performs such “miracles.” Is it that God has changed his/her mind, or that he/she is no longer able. In either case, that would suggest that God is indeed imperfect. Or my favorite question, if God created everything, than why did he create Lucifer, thus allowing him to corrupt mankind? Why would God not simply stop Lucifer/Satan on the spot. That has never made sense to me, and was thankfully the beginning of my thirst for knowledge.
As time progressed, I introspectively argued with the indoctrination that had been forced upon me. My parents gave all credit to the divine for things science could easily explain, yet I could say nothing to them about it, otherwise I would be lectured/disciplined. I began to grow as a Temporary Agnostic in Practice (TAP). After having finally left my parents home at around college, I was able to talk with more people at school, at libraries, or at my apartment.
Eventually I had met my now current fiance who had never been brought up in a forcibly religious family and was open to learning. She and I studied religions and tried to understand which, if any, had the proper moral path for which we viewed as moral. None had given us a factual moral path based on divine, nor gave us any evidence for the existence of a higher power. She and I grew to become atheists thanks to the works of intellectuals which did have explanations to our world.
I am still trying to begin to “come out” for lack of better words. When you feel that your family may actually fall into a depression if they were to learn about atheism, it makes it harder to want to explain to them your own views. Since I live in Oklahoma, which is pretty much close to the buckle of the Bible Belt, I feel as though I am much more alone than if I were to live elsewhere. I have to pass Oral Roberts University from time to time, which serves as a reminder that I am in the minority as far as this state is concerned.
I hope anyone who may reads my story can find relief that there are some, even in the Bible Belt, that know that science is our only hope in keeping our society rational.