I did not set out in question of my faith, when it happened.
I was not searching for a new savior, a justification of my existence. I asked for no proof. I sought out no miracles.
It happened rather surprisingly and quickly.
I was raised my entire 25 years of life in large Baptist churches in San Diego CA to a small church in Waxahachie, TX. My dad is an ordained minister and was always the music minister or “worship leader” (depending on your terminology of choice).
My grandmother had been teaching sunday school since before I was born.
Religion just was. It was never forced. It was never radical, fanatical… it just was. Looking back, I wonder if thats what made the transition so easy. I believed merely because I believed. It was familiar, it was how I was raised. I just didnt question it.
Until I met a boy. He would post videos and articles on myspace and I was intrigued. I wanted to understand what he felt so passionately about. I wanted to learn all I could about something that seemed to mean so much to him.
My interest managed to peak his own interest. I became the student, and he became the teacher. I devoured everything I could find. Blogs, message boards, articles, video debates, lectures, books… And before I knew it- something that had merely been to learn more about HIM, became something I needed to know for myself.
I was turned onto Dawkins, Hitchens, Harrison, etc. All the truly great faces of contemporary atheism.
A few months ago, I accompanied this same fire starter friend to Austin to see a lecture by Dawkins himself. The pride I felt being able to identify with what was spoken was enough to push further. I purchased The God Delusion and found myself laughing outloud at the tongue in cheek approach to some subjects and found that atheism is not at all as the stigma presents so often.
I now find myself engaging others into religious discussions, excited to use my newfound logic, and even pulling out my old Bible and reading through passages has proven to show the hipocricy and inconsistencies as obvious as if they'd been highlighted for me.
With Dawkins having been one of the primary means of education that my friend used at the beginning, I feel a certain gratefulness. The calm demeanor, the gentle voice and the easy logic that seems to flow as easily as breathing for this man is what got me through. I was able to let go of the security blanket I had held on to, subconsciously, for so long. And now, I can look at the world around me in wonder and amazement. I exist right now. And that is enough for me.
Deepest thanks and eternal gratitude… to all who seek to find the truth.