You are in my prayers, sir. I have begun to pray that God will bring you into understanding, and that the scales of misunderstanding will fall from your eyes. You are so clearly earnest in your zeal and faith, and I hope your zeal is for truth, and not for mere self glory or the opinions of your cause.
Please forgive me if I go too far, here. It is not my intent to offend.
I also regret the impolite messages you receive from those of religious persuasion. Salvation is clearly a journey for us all.
So, please accept my sincerest hopes and prayers that you will encounter the truth you seek, or at least I hope you still seek. Having once been an atheist, like yourself, I came to discover that truth is ultimately a person, Jesus Christ, and I pray that you will someday have the joy of knowing Him as well. With as sparkling a mind as you possess, you would be most welcome to the family of the Faith.
In sincerest regard,
An Eastern Orthodox Christian