‘The Unbelievers’ Caption Contest – Winners Announced!

Mar 24, 2014

First Place and winner of Richard Dawkins’ Book: Mick Shinners-Murphy- “It's okay, you're safe here…now where did the Holy Spirit touch you??”

Second Place: Andrew Knight "So, tell me again about your invisible friend's Mother…"

Third Place: Macropus “….19, 20. You are now deeply asleep. When you wake up, you will ask every member of the audience in turn, why you are dressed in such a silly costume.”

What's your caption for Richard Dawkins? Submit a caption in the comments below and the best will win a copy of An Appetite for Wonder: The Making of a Scientist, by Richard Dawkins.

Contest Deadline: Ended

The cartoon promotes Richard's tour through the US and his new movie, The Unbelievers, with internationally known physicist Lawrence Krauss

April 2nd- San Diego, CA

April 3rd- Las Vegas, NV (hosted by magician Penn Jillette)

April 7th- Columbus, OH

See the trailer and buy tickets here.

249 comments on “‘The Unbelievers’ Caption Contest – Winners Announced!

  • 3
    Steven007 says:

    Yes Pope, the evidence shows that Larry does indeed have the whole world in his hands AND a wingless monkey is in fact flying out of that chair. Have a little faith.



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  • “My faith struggles against the empirical evidence, treating with contempt all that is discovered through the scientific method.”



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  • 7
    Light Wave says:

    Dawkins reminds us that we are all Africans, the monkey reminds us we are all Apes and Krauss reminds us we are all made of Stars….Who let Father Ted on stage ???



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  • 10
    crookedshoes says:

    The monkey: “I’d like a banana”

    Krauss: “I can explain how this planet came to be.”

    Dawkins: “I am illustrating the evolution of the eye.”

    Father Pat: “Ok, i am laying down, somebody bring me a young boy.”



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  • Stridency, the universe, analysis and inclination.


    Monkey: “The chair is too strident! The chair is too strident!”

    Audience member: “There goes Dawkins, psycho analysing again.”



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  • 15
    lampe33 says:

    Pope- “God’s plan gets more ‘mysterious’ every time scientists make a new discovery. It’s as if the entire religion just stopped making sense!”



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  • 20
    Light Wave says:

    Krauss : Richard would you please calm that monkey down before he hits the roof…….Dawkins : I’m trying but he’s pontificating again !



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  • 22
    LALLORONA says:

    My Twitter Caption for Pope on psychiatrist’s couch, with his pope trappings, confessing to Dawkins & Krauss: “Well of course I’ve always been an Atheist, but what else could I do with my fetish for pointy hats & ferulas?” (Monkey is jumping up & down with vindicated delight to hear the Pope’s an Atheist.)



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  • Dawkins: “Of course. It’s called the Clergy Project. Shall I put you in touch?”

    Francis: “Bless you, my son.”

    Krauss: “What “A” is thought to be the cradle of all Hom…?”

    Monkey: “Africa!”



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    1. Dawkins: “The test results are in, Francis. I’m afraid the monkey scored better than you did.”
      Alternately:
    2. Pope: “Oh no! It’s in the newspapers already?!!?”



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  • 38
    Playtah says:

    “In a startling departure from accepted church doctrine, the Pope concedes that the original vehicle for sin could have been a banana.”



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  • 39
    Lancshoop says:

    Time person of the year and now you’re on the list of world’s best thinkers whilst I’ve been dumped off it – Me thinks you’ve had some help from a higher power…………………………..oh sh………….



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  • 40
    LALLORONA says:

    *In reply to #24 by LALLORONA: I wish to edit my caption entry to Pope saying “I confess I’ve always been an Atheist, but what else could I do with my fetish for big pointy hats and ferulas? because it’s funnier if the Pope is also ‘confessing’ to Dawkins & Krauss.



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  • After receiving and conversing with his three guest, the Pope has to recline and review his stance on abortion! Only God can help us on evolution. drmrs 3/25/2014



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  • 48
    solong4now says:

    Hmmmm… I see. So tell me, this voice you hear talking to you… Can anyone else hear it? And is it the same voice that is telling you to wear that particular hat?



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  • 49
    Adam0468 says:

    Lawrence: “Hey Richard, do you think we crossed the line by letting the monkey do that to him?”
    Richard: “Possibly…..maybe the faulty chair spring was enough.”



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  • A Deer in the Headlights-
    Richard’s thought balloon:
    “Wo Es war, sol Ich werden…Freud was right…wherever you go, there you are…he is only human…there is nothing he can say to mitigate the hypocracy and criminality of the church…he has to act now and give up the priest abuse files, full stop.”

    Cheers, Fred C



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  • … so you are telling us you are multiple people in one and that in a past life you the father, date raped your mother leading to your problems with pedophilia and the need to control world sex practices. Hmmm Mr Kraus this sounds distinctly like “The God Delusion”.



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  • 61
    alf1200 says:

    In reply to #56 by BillB:

    I recognize the three gentlemen, but who’s the guy in the hat?

    That’s a primate too. They just aren’t smart enough to know it.



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  • 62
    alf1200 says:

    In reply to #40 by Playtah:

    “In a startling departure from accepted church doctrine, the Pope concedes that the original vehicle for sin could have been a banana.”

    Please see Ken Ham for explanation.



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  • 63
    alf1200 says:

    “Hey Larry”
    “Ya Rick”
    “Did you bring the monkey just to make fun of his hat’?

    “Of course not, I wouldn’t do anything like that”



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  • 65
    The Jersey Devil says:

    Francis: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

    RD: I think you misunderstand…

    LK: Quiet, Richard. He may finally say something interesting.



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  • 66
    Macropus says:

    ….19, 20. You are now deeply asleep. When you wake up, you will ask every member of the audience in turn, why you are dressed in such a silly costume.



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  • Monkey: “So, you think we aren’t related, huh?”
    Krauss: “Tell me how Genesis started with the Big Bang!”
    Dawkins: “Please explain these delusions of “God” you’re having!”



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  • 68
    alf1200 says:

    In reply to #68 by Macropus:

    ….19, 20. You are now deeply asleep. When you wake up, you will ask every member of the audience in turn, why you are dressed in such a silly costume.

    Ok, I just spit my cookie on my monitor…….I’m not cleaning it up, its your fault………



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  • 71
    Inflaton says:

    Yes, your Eminence, Dan and Linda wll be delighted to have you join The Clergy Project. As the first step in your deconversion, Professor Krauss has generously offered to hit you with plate tectonic theory…

    -or-

    I don’t know, Lawrence… hitting him with plate tectonics might start him praying again. I say we give him a banana and introduce him to cousin Bobo…



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  • Pope: OK, I’m ready.

    Dawkins — shields himself behind note pad.

    Krauss — hides behind globe.

    Monkey: “Nooo! I don’t want to be spanked!”



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  • 75
    zeerust2000 says:

    “Well Doctor, I keep having this nightmare where I’m on a couch onstage in front of all these people, and you’ve turned into Richard Dawkins, and Lawrence Krauss is there, and……………”



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  • 77
    alf1200 says:

    In reply to #73 by Inflaton:

    Yes, your Eminence, Dan and Linda wll be delighted to have you join The Clergy Project. As the first step in your deconversion, Professor Krauss has generously offered to hit you with plate tectonic theory…

    -or-

    I don’t know, Lawrence… hitting him with plate tectonics might start him praying…

    Lets just hit him with the plate.



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  • 78
    Macropus says:

    In reply to #70 by alf1200:

    In reply to #68 by Macropus:

    ….19, 20. You are now deeply asleep. When you wake up, you will ask every member of the audience in turn, why you are dressed in such a silly costume.

    Ok, I just spit my cookie on my monitor…….I’m not cleaning it up, its your fault………

    Sorry Alf – happy to clean it up. If you can just transfer enough funds for a fare from Western Australia, I’ll be right there…



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  • Hmm,seems like a classic example of an absent or poor father figure during his early development…
    So,how old is this boyfriend of yours anyway?



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  • “It’s not incurable…We can overcome your resistance to evolution. Alas, it may require years to come. And it may be the case that you’ll go to heaven with your superstition without having realized the real poetic magic this world has on offer”



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  • 83
    gcoldham says:

    Now Your Eminence, how long have you had these bizarre ideas that we’re all descended from fish and monkeys? Was it when you started imagining you could see monkeys and evolutionists everywhere you go. We all have that sensation [Erm—Please just keep looking at the ceiling]



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  • When we finely see the end of religion we can fill our churches making them truthful and useful by exhibiting prehistoric animals like him (you know ,those with small brains that lived in another age).



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  • 91
    Aphetorusbull says:

    Lawrence, will you and your friend quit monkeying around, I’m trying to figure out why this man insists on wearing that ridiculous party-hat.



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  • 98
    Pete in France says:

    “And when I count to 10 you will wake up and believe there is a god and that you are pope.
    Even more amazingly, and inspite of a complete lack of evidence, some people will actually believe you!”



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  • 101
    Alan4discussion says:

    Monkey:- “Yes Laurence, he eventually caught on to Galileo’s orbiting Earth, but I’m sure I’m jumping with the right gestures he showed me to exorcise his other demons!”



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  • 104
    savagelucy says:

    “No, Your Holiness, we did not name the monkey ‘Adam’ to make fun of you. Perhaps we should explore these paranoid delusions further though…”



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  • Pope: My faith means I’m not insignificant.

    Dawkins: The leader of a billion Christians isn’t insignificant. It’s teaching children about a war between supernatural forces, with demons and Satan on one side, and God, Jesus and a Holy Spirit on the other, that destroys their faith in science.

    Pope: I love science, but faith is more important. Without faith, you’re dead. Or worse.

    Monkey: Which proves that evolution is a random process, doesn’t it?



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  • 112
    Stafford Gordon says:

    Note for moderators:

    I’ve tried to delete comments 88 and 92, but for some reason I can’t get rid of them.

    I only want to enter comment 112 please.



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  • 114
    Moderator says:

    No problem. We’ve removed 88 and 92 for you. The mods.

    In reply to #114 by Stafford Gordon:

    Note for moderators:

    I’ve tried to delete comments 88 and 92, but for some reason I can’t get rid of them.

    I only want to enter comment 112 please.



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  • 115
    Richard01 says:

    Francis, Some good sex is something you might want to add to your bucket list….unless you have designs on the Virgin Mary in due course?



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  • 120
    sangfroid says:

    Krauss: Anybody up for a game of play ball?
    (The monkey is ecstatic, Dawkins is already writing the line-up, and the Pope is wishing he had brought his bat instead!)



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  • 121
    attaaboy says:

    “So you see, Pope, the world is a mechanical system easily explained by science. Are you modern Catholics inquisitive of science, or still inquisitioners of scientists?



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  • 124
    LiberalRick says:

    A monkey, a physicists, an evolutionarily biologists, and the Pope walk into a bar. The bartender asked: “what can I get you boys?” The monkey said: “Ray Comfort”; the physicists said: “nothing in a tall glass with ice”; the evolutionarily biologist said: “the magic of reality”; and the Pope said: “separate checks.”



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  • 126
    scumpy55 says:

    Chap in the front row is saying to the person next to him ” This should be very interesting, we have three wise monkeys on the left and Ken Ham in fancy dress on the right.



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  • 129
    x-bone says:

    [ Lawrence ] : “Er… Richard… Maybe you shouldn’t have told pope Francis that the Capuchins were, indeed, a sub-order of the Franciscans…”



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  • 130
    alf1200 says:

    Pope: “Well, It all started at an early age when I thought I had as much chance coming from monkeys as a monkey would magically spring out of a chair”.
    Then last week I was told that was about as probable as a monkey falling out of my butt.
    I’m afraid to go to the bathroom now.



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  • 131
    x-bone says:

    [ Another proposal ] . . . . . . . . . . . . “When monkey jerk, pope rock”

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Auld Swinging London proverb, late sixties…)



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  • 133
    x-bone says:

    [ A last one ] : . . . “Well Lawrence… Here is the final score of this lively debate :

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Right, we have our monkee spring from his hole in seat,

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Left, we have our Frankie flung on his Holy See…”



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  • Krauss: “The End is Nigh (well, 7 billion years hence, give or take)!”

    Dawkins: Well, don’t just do somethig, lie there!”

    Francis:……………….^……………

    Monkey: Ugu ugu ugu!



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  • 137
    Inflaton says:

    I think a “do over” on heliocentrism is a wonderful idea, your Eminence. Lawrence is already doing his best Atlas imitation, so why don’t you walk over and orbit him erroneously as the “heavenly body.” Do be careful, though… Galileo tends to bite when he’s excited.



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  • 138
    Curious James says:

    Dawkins (as psychotherapist referring to Krause and monkey): So can you tell me your earliest memories about your mother and your home life?



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  • 139
    ruzbehraja says:

    “He promises to sing hymns praising Science, in front of a large gathering, every Sunday, if we explain Evolution to him.”



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  • 140
    ruzbehraja says:

    So you want to start believing in Science?

    Sing with us:

    “Science is so true……
    Gravity we praise…..
    Physics for me and you…..
    In every single place……

    Chemistry works fine…..
    and Biology too…..
    They work so well…..
    Ofcourse Science is true.



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  • 141
    Tintern says:

    Who won the Skeptic Al comic contest that ended on 28th feb? It wasn’t me but I can’t seem to see the result anywhere. Curious to see what they went with (curious now, not judgemental).



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  • 142
    Alan4discussion says:

    Pope:- “The infallible voice in my head is my 3 in 1 God telling me how Catholic Christian humans on Earth, are the central most important feature of His Universe.”

    Monkey:- “Ha! ha! ha! – That’s the best one I’ve heard yet!”



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  • 145
    x-bone says:

    Dawkins : “Stop fainting, Francis ! When I said : ‘Look… the Monkey springs from the Armchair’, I was merely describing what I was seing —not asserting an evolutionary process !”



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  • 150
    pspasov says:

    Audience guy on the left:

    99 priests walk into a bar and the bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” And the 99 priests say, “Why not?” And the bartender replies, “Because your kind always bring up the holy spirit.”



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  • 154
    Bob Springsteen says:

    Millions of Englishmen have good reason to despise Argentinian Catholics: Remember that cheating bastard crossing himself and claiming the Hand of God during the 1986 World Cup?



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  • 155
    Mramundo says:

    Pope – “Don’t cry for me Argentina, the truth is I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise, don’t keep your distance”.



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  • 159
    alf1200 says:

    In reply to #80 by Macropus:

    >
    In reply to #68 by Macropus:

    ….19, 20. You are now deeply asleep. When you wake up, you will ask every member of the audience in turn, why you are dressed in such a silly costume.

    Ok, I just spit my cookie on my monitor…….I’m not cleaning it up, its your fault………

    Sorry Alf – happy to clean it up. If you can just transfer enough funds for a fare from Western Australia, I’ll be right there…
    Ya know Marco, After looking at it closer I noticed it looks like Jesus Christ. I think I’ll sell it on Ebay.



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  • 165
    GawDamn says:

    Wouldn’t you say, Richard, that the creature to our left is only a little more evolved intellectually than the creature to our right?



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  • 166
    onemoresecret says:

    Dawkins to Pope: ”Yes, this is a bit like confession, except this way we ALL get to feel better when you are done admitting your wrongs.”



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  • 168
    perkinsusa says:

    “This will be awkward, Richard and Lawrence are trying to have a conversation with a primitive and under developed mind and a monkey”



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  • 171
    tsvenkat says:

    RD & LK : “Turnaround Pope! WE are the movie!”

    Pope: “Oh Shit! Is it Judgement day already!”

    Audience: “The Greatest Show on Earth!”



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  • 173
    scumpy55 says:

    Lawrence in conversion with Richard. ” How are you going to convince FatherTed that he’s not infallible …. I think you’ve got a better chance convincing Manchester United fans that David Moyes is the chosen one”.



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  • 174
    Slippy says:

    3 apes and a monkey walk onto a stage… monkey says “how come you guys get credited with the higher intellect? I’ve never had an imaginary friend?”

    Ape with the pointy hat responds..
    “God is not imaginary, he surrounds and lives within us, he guides us in every….” but the monkey cuts him off “I’m not talking to you, yours isn’t an imaginary friend but a psychological issue resulting from years of indoctrination and mental cruelty reaching the point were a large percentage of the population of the planet now think you are damaged beyond repair, I’m addressing the guy who is talking to the inflatable globe”



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  • 179
    GawDamn says:

    I’ve read the many clever submissions here to “The Unbelievers” caption contest But other entries make it apparent that others don’t understand cartoon captioning.

    Perhaps it would help if one rule of effective cartoon captioning was explained to those who wish to enter this, or future caption contents.

    While it probably raises the bar unecessarily high for the purpose of this RDFRS contest, the New York Times explains in their article, “How To Win the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest”, (http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2008/06/how_to_win_the_new_yorker_cartoon_caption_contest.html) that one must aim for what is called a “theory of mind” caption, which requires the reader to project intents or beliefs into the minds of the cartoon’s characters.

    “An exemplary New Yorker Times theory of mind caption (accompanying a cartoon of a police officer ticketing a caveman with a large wheel): “Yeah, yeah—and I invented the ticket.” The humor here requires inference about the caveman’s beliefs and intentions as he (presumably) explains to the cop that he invented the wheel.”

    In other words, an ineffective caption is one that lacks inference, and instead includes wordiness in the caption to explain the message or intent of the cartoon.



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  • 185
    god_b_LESS says:

    “So… please relax and explain to our audience… just why YOU think Lawrence is delusional and the monkey looks silly…”



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  • 186
    god_b_LESS says:

    Better yet:

    “So… please relax and explain to our audience… just why YOU think Lawrence is delusional and the monkey looks and acts silly…”



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  • 187
    god_b_LESS says:

    Maybe even better:

    “So… please relax and explain to our audience… just why YOU think Lawrence is delusional about the creation of our world, and how the monkey looks and acts silly.”



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  • 188
    Alan4discussion says:

    The globe juggling is fine Laurence. The jack-in-the-box monkey is great, – but the the clockwork wind-up preacher has fallen over since his key fell out on to the floor! Another miraculous exorcism??



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  • 189
    god_b_LESS says:

    Alternate submission:

    “Just relax… I think we can all agree that you have some serious issues and were looking rather silly, but we are here to help.”



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  • 190
    god_b_LESS says:

    “Now just relax and please expand on how, from your own personal viewpoint, the others on stage seem delusional or silly.”



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  • Dawkins: “Similarly, the specimen on my left persistently displays distinct vestigial and primitive features of evolution such as funny vestments, mitres, beliefs and staffs.”



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  • 194
    AdOculos says:

    Pope: It’s simple – the father impregnated the mother who had a son who turned out to be the father so the mother’s son had impregnated his own mother and had a child who was his own father and a father who was his own son and they are all the Holy Spirit as well- Clear!!
    RD to LK and Monkey: What do you think?
    LK: Classic symptoms of schizophrenia , Multiple personality disorder and unresolved Oedipal complex.
    Monkey: What do I know , I’m just a rebellious Israelite.



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  • 195
    AdOculos says:

    RD: So let’s get this straight. The father impregnated the mother so a child could be born who was his own father in order that he could save the world from the evil hoards who want to create Armageddon and destroy the Earth and Mankind.
    Pope: Correct!
    LK: Sounds suspiciously like the plot to ‘Terminator’ to me.
    Monkey: Does anyone have a banana?



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  • 199
    chrisknight2 says:

    RD: Do you truly believe the monkey is floating above the chair?
    Pope: ONLY if he was born of a virgin.
    LK: As the song goes, it appears, I indeed have the whole world in my hand. Do you believe I may be God?
    Pope: No of course not, not to mention your fingers appear to be providing protection for parts of Africa, and we know using protection is a sin!
    Nameless Spectator: Well at least the Vatican is considering logic.



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  • 209
    byjuvtvm says:

    “Actually, Richard, it would be quite expensive for my business to openly admit that I do believe in natural selection” says the Pope. Dawkins retorts, “Hey, there you go again, Don’t ‘believe’ man, do study critically”



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  • MONKEY: ” Hold it right there Lawrence , I’ll bounce off it and see if I can frighten the shit out of the transvestite with the pogo stick”



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  • The monkey doing what it does best.
    Darwin finally understanding why and how.
    Dawkins explaning it so that everybody (evolved beond the ape) understands.
    Religious rulers with there greedy ways and the lust for power are finally losing the “battle”.
    Audience getting smarter.

    (Excuse me if my English isn´t perfect, but I hope you understand anyway) 🙂



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  • 215
    vizente2002 says:

    Science can be so blind on many matters of metaphysical conceptions, but she knows very well distinguish a legitimate mystical experience of a psychedelic trance.



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  • 217
    vizentemaia says:

    The problem is that their truths are founded in the air of nowhere hovering over empty space contained within the vacuum of his fantasy world.



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  • 221
    vizentemaia says:

    I know that the Pope Vatican Corporation is ashamed of his biography of popes, but know that filming them can turn their worst moments into money.



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  • 223
    Richard01 says:

    RD: OK Pope, I get it….you are used to hearing the confessions of others and absolving them but you don’t have anyone other than God to confess to….and God never answers or absolves you….and you are concerned that your sins are accumulating to the point where Hell seems a distinct possibility….?? That’s pretty fundamental hey Lawrence..looks to me like he started with a big bang and will end in a black hole?. Can’t fault that?? Monkey is pleased cuz he doesn’t understand what confession is about!



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  • The monkey “Uhh Uhh Ohh”
    Darwin “Ah-ha! I know how it all works”
    Dawkins “I will explain it for you”
    The Bishop “Ohh no! My lies doesn´t work any more”
    The Audience “Ha ha ha”



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  • 228
    Bob Springsteen says:

    The Pope hits back!! “The God Delusion? That’s a bit rich coming from a man who defines a world tour as playing just three venues.”



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  • 242
    Max Autonomy says:

    In reply to #233 by Bob Springsteen:

    The Pope hits back!! “The God Delusion? That’s a bit rich coming from a man who defines a world tour as playing just three venues.”

    I defy you to show me where exactly they are calling it a WORLD tour.
    Looks like just another pathetic straw man from the theists.



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  • 243
    god_b_LESS says:

    “VERY silly, indeed……………… but don’t worry, you’ll get the help you need through the Clergy Project.”



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  • 247
    simpy says:

    A meta comment from a pedantic atheist lecturer in Visual Arts: Great idea but the cartoon is irritatingly incoherent. It is trying to put way too may elements together to encourage divergent responses.

    1&2. The winning entry and the runner up succeed only by ignoring most of the elements in the cartoon. It only requires Dawkins and the prostrate Bishop ( psychiatrist’s office). But it doesn’t make sense to have this scenario on stage..or with a monkey!

    3.. The third runner up succeeds in doing nothing particularly funny or witty or anything at all but at least makes sense of more elements: the audience, stage, couch, Dawkins, this time as hypnotist, and presumably Krauss assisting the hypnosis by spinning the globe, are now necessary or at least plausible. Well done you! But what about the monkey?

    Get the cartoon right and you will get good responses. Don’t worry about limiting responses by narrowing down: you could edit out everything in this except Dawkins and the be-couched pope/priest/bishop and you would still have an infinite numbers of possible captions; only they would have some chance of making sense!

    And the Monkey said EEE! EEE! EEE!



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  • 248
    japthom says:

    I have told you son,This is what happens when you dress up for Hallowe’en and eat too much candy,you start to hallucinate



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  • 249
    Buerggiste says:

    Watch out! Don’t let the monkey remove the hat and mention anything “bald”, or else Francis could call his lord to send two she bears to tear you three and the audiences into pieces.



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