I Can’t Take This Movie About Two Christian Virgins Seriously

Why can’t they just do it right there?

I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood. But I got angry watching this trailer for a new Christian movie about two virgins who wait until marriage to get it on. It turns out the guy’s getting deployed the day after the wedding, so they only have one night to make sweet, sweet, Jesus-y love… but they keep hitting obstacles every time they try.

I know I’ve only seen the trailer, and I know I’m not really the target audience, but I’ll go ahead and tell you why the movie doesn’t work for me.

The premise is dumb.

I don’t feel bad for these characters at all. They chose to wait, and now they’re upset because everything’s not completely perfect on Night One? Too. Damn. Bad.