Whoabama, Converts, #(2054)

Sep 30, 2014

I was raised in a nondenominational Christian home. I wasn’t allowed to listen to “secular” music, movies or read any “controversial” books. Richard Dawkins was literally worse than Hitler and there was no greater punishment than going to hell. I was absolutely terrified of going to hell for most of my life and did every selfish thing I could to stay out of it. I became an usher at my church, prayed over the seats, got baptised and pretended to know I was praying in tongues. But that was my downfall. I noticed even from a very early age that all the adults who did it all sounded the same. My pastor claimed ot was god’s gift to man and that it was an ancient or even heavenly language that no man could understand though he told us stories that some words had been verified as ancient Native American. Oh wow cool. But wait, I’ve been watching Star Trek The Next Generation (rarely when my parents agreed with the subject of the episode that is), and I’ve heard Klingon spoken. There’s a structure to it and different sounding words but speaking in tongues only has at most mainly 4-5 different sounding “words”. How can it be any language when there’s no way to say anything with just 4-5 words? Thankfully the internet was around so I heard about glossolalia and my mind was opened: it was all bullshit. No one speaking in tongues was actually speaking a heavenly language. No wonder I didn’t feel any “presence of the holy spirit” when I spoke it, no wonder everyone sounded exactly the same no matter who they were. It was the one instance of a “modern day miracle” I thought I witnessed every sunday and the only evidence I had that god was real. At that time I had also started to take a public speaking class and was learning about logical fallacies and saw hundreds of them in the church and every argument for god and against secularism I had ever had crammed down my throat. I started applying my homework to my parent’s religion and shot holes in it until it had no standing at all. At that point I knew I wasn’t a Christian anymore and it wasn’t until several years later I fully subscribed to being an atheist and even started reading The God Delusion though just 12 years earlier I would have wept seeing someone read it and beg them to stop so they wouldn’t go to hell.

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