An exorcist told us how to rid Ted Cruz of Lucifer, just in case John Boehner is right

May 3, 2016

By Phillip Bump

One of the reasons that John Boehner was fun to have on Capitol Hill was that the former House speaker would just say things and then he’d make a funny face. This didn’t help him make the base of his party happy, but it was certainly appreciated by the media.

This Boehner reappeared on Wednesday during a conversation at Stanford University, during which he indicated a degree of displeasure with Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas.

Cruz, Boehner said, is “Lucifer in the flesh. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

My first reaction, like anyone’s, was that this was unexpectedly bold. My second reaction, like anyone’s, was that of course there was no truth to it, which there isn’t. My third reaction, though, unlike most people’s? I wondered what would actually happen if a member of Congress — or, should a lot of cards come up in Cruz’s favor, the president of the United States — were literally possessed by Satan.

So I decided to reach out to an exorcist.

If you try to find an exorcist in the Washington area, there’s a hiccup. It turns out that there was a very famous movie about an exorcism that was filmed in D.C. (the name escapes me), making it very hard to find an exorcist for all of the Google search chaff related to spinning heads and spooky staircases. But there is this guy, Pastor Bob Larson, who provides exorcisms and exorcism training around the world. (Larson is the founder of the International School of Exorcism.) And Larson was happy to explain the process.


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5 comments on “An exorcist told us how to rid Ted Cruz of Lucifer, just in case John Boehner is right

  • Cruz doesn’t need any demons to make him one undesirable SOB. I don’t know the man or his father, both anti science, but apparently they both think God personally invited Cruz Jnr to run for president. Trump blusters around, but Cruz is deadly serious. Does the USA really need another president with a hot line to God ?



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  • @OP – If you try to find an exorcist in the Washington area, there’s a hiccup. It turns out that there was a very famous movie about an exorcism that was filmed in D.C. (the name escapes me), making it very hard to find an exorcist for all of the Google search chaff

    That was the mistake – trying to find an exorcist in Washington!!

    If you start in the right place, there should be no problem finding one!

    http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/vatican-chief-exorcist-secrets/2015/06/07/id/649204/

    Vatican’s Chief Exorcist Reveals the Secrets of Hell



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  • Here is America. A lunatic preacher exorcist, discussing a story about a lunatic politician, concerned about a non-existent demon.
    Ok. I am moving……………



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  • Well, it would seem that god has changed his mind about cruz….. or cruz did it for him. Cruz is by far the more odious character, predicated on his “religious” temperament. Trump may or may not be secular, we may never know the truth about that. But he is an opportunist and would no doubt be willing to blow smoke up anyone’s rectal orifice for the prospect of support. Still a dangerous attitude.



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